.karawara for dummy.

So funny when

2011-11-15T08:03:00.001-08:00

A person thought they are so brilliant than you earn as much as you. Prolly i earn more. Take that bitch! xoxo

SJ - Double likes

2011-10-15T22:21:00.001-07:00

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do," ..."If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on." (Steve Job)

I dislike when

2011-10-15T03:45:00.000-07:00

Jealous people accuse of something you DID NOT do. Seriously it really get on my nerve. I went to the gym and there is this kepo mak nenek (KMN)that always saying things that boils me up. First day at the gym it was in the changing room, this KMN came up to me and compliment how good my hair was since it was thick black (okay I love this bit) and suddenly she just like "oh you mesti color rambut you itam kan, if not how come is that good" and I said never done any and she goes on and on about it and religiously believe i color it before. Whatever! Okay..moving on

I met her again after that, and she compliment on my chin and suddenly she came up with this sarcastic opinion and and suggesting I have had my chin done. It means SURGERY. WHAT A SLAG! and she goes on and on about nowadays this artis tu lah nie lah who done their faces and look good. Seriously KMN! GET A LIFE

The moral of the story is

A) I had never color my hair in my life ever. I got it thick black from my dad! Look at my eyebrow tho, I have a very thick black eyebrow! so do all my sibling
B) I never had any chin surgery. I fall in the toilet when I was like 8 straight on the floor and I receive a few sticth on it. Oh yeah prolly that is consider a surgery then and C) You should go and color your karat hair and get your face a good surgery, cuz seriously You look way too ugly. Nah prolly you should thinnk to get your attitude surgery done.Seriously! GO FIX YOUR JEALOUSY ISSUES! What a bitch!

Forgetfulness is the key to success..eeek!

2011-10-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

A) Already forgot all those html shit that i am so mastered zaman time myspace dolu-dolu.
B) Blog is getting too old for me. Nay, I actually started to love it........again
C) I am so into losing weight mode - Just pampered myself a good book (hopefully) called Champion body for life; Now so at only page 49 *grind*. A book for a tenner? Won't hurt my pocket at all chill la babe.

Dear Blog, How i miss you bebeh! Gosh, too many blogwalking needed to be done la wey. Few features need to catch up. This is going to be mileeeess i tell ya momma! DAng

Cheryl lloyd aka Swagger Jagger

2011-10-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

I am in love with Cheryl Lloyd. saw her on x-factor last year audition! Love love her new song mucho bella guapaa!.

I am...

2011-10-02T07:51:00.000-07:00
BACK! It has been a year kan eversince I...thought i will be a billionare.Lol. My finger is back registered!

Nantikan kemunculan Mak Mah!

x x x

The world better prepare, when i am a billionaire!

2010-06-02T17:12:00.000-07:00
I wanna be rich! At the end of the day its not what kinda course youre doing or what kind of company you work for, its all came down to how much money you make. I am looking forward as forward as i can on making good figure for my future. If my dad can, i believe Im beyond can! wee! ka-ching!

and yes my mr is coming back on Friday. Joy!

Just another thought in a very lonely day

2010-06-01T14:28:00.000-07:00
ehem. oh well. My city dah officially mati as in no one left and everyone already left stoke.

Summer holiday dah oficially starts and everyone leaving england and heading to europe or any other country with bit chunk of sun. Why are they so excited about sun? Omg. Like me la kan, born in forever-summer-home-country i rather just stay put in the house or pergi mall yang ade aircond. Derang kat sini baru ade seciput sun dah excited nak tanning bagai. Kelako lak tgk and the best part is "Oh, i wanna get tanned, tan as Nadirah, so hot" and ade ker invite haku pergi sunbed. I never even think to go sunbed in my life la kan. Well, i told em in Malaysia, demand for my kind of skin color is so umpopular as in guys will chase after white-tepung-gomak girl. The more white you are, the possibility to be popular are high. Im just like whatever.

I am officially finished uni. Let see the result soon and I am so gonna get my degree at the age of 21. Proud? hmm.of course. But thanks a bunch to my parents as well. I consider myself one of the luckiest bitch in the world.

I am looking forward to go home very soon. At the beginning I am so excited to live in England la ape lah. But then, after 2 years tak balik, plus im getting bored with western life kan, Im just thinking I wanna leave for good! Like for good. I might come back but maybe after a year or something. I wanna start career and start making my own fortune. Mode? of course excited! I miss everything about Malaysia, the food, the people, the environment, the family, the celebration. I missed alot in 2years. I think i had enough with this superficial western life.

Me and Mr Nicholas became more personal lately, but i told him clearly who am i and what kind of background i am from. Im telling him i am literally from a very religious background family. And it is Asian culture that every decision that we made are involving family. Its culture, Its nature. The funny part are when he was chatting on facebook with his brother and i am literally watching them chatting. ANd then his bro asked

Bro: What you goin to do after uni?
Nick: Im moving to China..hahaha

and suddenly

Bro: Ohh, I thought Nadira is Malay

awkward moment 2 minutes and its so funny to see his face turned red! Gotcha! Like out of the blue even his bro know about me. Oh well. To be fair, he is sucha good looking guy. Like omg. But I dont have a clue why he stick on me. For almost a year and a half. Its wonder me hard! or maybe im just awesome (vain 3 minutes)

But to be fair, i kept telling him, i will only marry muslim guy, I kept of emphasise the muslim bit and the funny thing is he said "can i be a muslim?" whaaaaaaaat! and we even talk religiously about reincarnation. And me with bit of knowledge try to persuade him. Omg i try to avoid to say this, but i think i fall in love with him. Oh well. He left for good last sunday to birmingham but he might come for visit this friday. So yay!

I dont like to put too much hope for it. That is why i decided to leave England. I am afraid things getting too far and i am going to regret. Thanks to God that give me strong faith on my final decision. Thanks

In 2 months i am going to leave UK. Loads of memories and what a tremendous experience. Everytime i mention stoke, i know i will grind deeply. At the end of the day Im still a muslim asian girl, and i dont belong in western life. I dont say I am weternize, its just my friends are not malay and the culture they had its out of the blue. Its about time to shift my life back with my malay friend, malay surroundings and Malaysia and dear God I am ready.

And nothing is great as to be home

Love.x

The stress is officially begin!

2010-04-30T07:48:00.000-07:00
In less than a week ive got big project to hand in. And im still struggling doing the first stage of the audit and i got 3 stages to go. Stress? well you tell me about it. 12 pm - 3 am in the library almost 3 weeks is not even an April Fool joke. I Joke myself for 4 minutes.

Nicholas K couldnt stop buggering me. Im busy la oii! Im dead busy, oh no actually i am dead. My brain is cramped, my stress level indicator is increasing with positive growth and the level of work pressure is legendary. I should have second thought to do my MBA.
Well, i received positive email from Mattel Malaysia, alaa Barbie doll company too. Cant wait to go home to see where my future leading me. I think wanted to take a year gap before studying again. Well I wanted to give my dad a second breathe because he is been sponsoring me for almost 4 years overseas. That’s almost price of a cute luxury apartment next to KLCC maybe. My next target for MBA is actually United States! Weeehoo. So I will try to work myself to get money. I mean with 5 figures per month or something. But how. Let me think.. Oh ya i might just making money online and spend all my money in skim cepat kaya. Those scam are pathetically convincing. Dengan hanya model 100 ringgit saya Berjaya buat duit sebanyak 1000 dalam masa 3 hari melalui facebook. Wow the money really coming from the sky. Maybe form Ayah Pin or something. Duh?

Ok nat, shatap, its time to do some numerical assessment for this friggin project.

xx

Random Reel

2010-03-05T01:18:00.000-08:00

Know your enemy, they are your biggest fan

Its so funny when..

2010-03-04T16:32:00.001-08:00

People get so interested in my life story and read my blog try to spread the words and image like i am so bad in some way.

My mum rang me and I spoke to my mum today and the last thing she told me is

“Kalau kita menceritakan tentang kemenangan dan kehebatan kita, orang akan benci tapi kalau kita menceritakan tentang kegagalan bagi mereka itu adalah kemenangan dan mereka akan happy”

I am so happy that mama trusts me in some way and the best thing she knew everything cuz someone show her my Halloween and Xmas party, and frankly she just said, jangan nk happy2 sangat, orang tak suka tgk kita happy. Plus she knew about me seeing and English which i don’t know who tell her, maybe she knew my blog. LMAO!

Well, i must admit i am the luckiest person in the world, when i was young i thought I am always the neglected ones. I have the toughest childhood. I might write a book about my life journey to be honest. Who knows I might be the famous writer one day. I cant imagine how people-who-had-silent-conflict-with me will react.
Well, my life in England is way too fantastic, I can’t believe my life will be this fantasy, I am so astounding! I can’t describe in any single word, I am speechless. Somehow in just thinking I wanna settled down in England and start my life in here. Like I can do whatever I want, without having any pressures and synicalism form anyone. There a few people I love and always be there for me. Alan, you know you’re sucha star?

I know you love me, xoxo Gossip girl.

Ps: Oh ya ive got new entry, you have a gossip to tell to everyone now.
:)

New Year = Same Goal

2010-01-03T07:51:00.001-08:00
Happy belated new year 2010. In 2 weeks i will write more and more.

Got 3 report to hand in next week worth 2500 words each. lol/

Go and stalk someone else blog first okayh.:)

x

Crack head.

2009-12-11T21:13:00.000-08:00
5.14 am Uk time: I am very alone in the Thompson Library, Stoke.

Why I am still awake?

A) Yesterday morning i wake up at 7 finish my work. I spent 6 hours then after, the word document crashed!

The result were interesting! NO IT IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did half of my work and shit! tell me what is more stress than this.
I went home dengan penuh kehampaan.
Then.. I slept till 11. 4 misscalled from steve 2 from Feyza. Yes i know its friday night nk ajak keluar lah tuh. Sorry, i have to do work, and im Not even think to return the call. Shoosh.

Now im doing a report.

KUALA LUMPUR AS A DESTNATION MARKETING.

I just finished doing half of my situtional analysis and half

Obejective
To define what makes Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia travel destination distinctive and unique among other places in Malaysia also in Asia Pacific or any other comparable destinations. The idea is to capture the distinctive essence of Kuala Lumpur for the visitor and use this brand promise as the guiding star and focus point for all community decision-making and tourism marketing.

Fuh nk buat ayat sekerat tuh je sudah mengambil masa 1 jam setengah.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate uni. But i love student life.

Boleh?

x

Can't be asked. i just like it..

2009-12-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

JEDWARD

2009-12-07T16:41:00.001-08:00
X factor is a big thing in Uk. Its like an American Idol. If you may knew Jedward, they have been kicked off few weeks ago. Well im not xfactor fan as ive got time to watch tv. I rather watch tv3 online. lol

Well, they actually gonna perform in our University nightclub. What a waste investment. But its gonna be funny night.

So for those around uk. Wanna come and see them? Purhase here.

JEDWARD!

7.50 pound? lets c. :)

Im lost!

2009-11-08T19:29:00.000-08:00
Omg it has been awhile since i write any shit,

I AM JUST TIRED COMPLAINING, I RATHER SLEEP. lol.

I will def jot something tomoz.(lie)
OMG I AM SO EXCITED.

xoxo

Im tired.

2009-10-06T07:58:00.000-07:00
Loads of things happen lately.

will puke later.
Im working in hour.
damn.
im just tired.

xx

Tweeting!

2009-09-06T07:56:00.001-07:00
I do have tweet account but never tweets so far.
Ive got loads of thing to say. Lets tweet!

Karawara:
1. Thinks Steve the army is a real hot typical english cunt//but what a night to be remembered.
2. Ben Mills the stafford rangers football player out with us; me and natasha! what a good night to be remembered, psst; HE IS HOT, i love tom!
3. I have finally got a house with 3 somewhat-maybe-cool english lads, I cant wait for 14 september. Moving out! My final year gonna be legendary and awesome.
4. I hate results day! Its beyond nervous and its on monday!
5. I am no longer Ben Williams Obssesed Guy fan.
6. I miss my NICHOLAS so much. 2 weeks to goo. weee.
7. I know how to look after myself. I love my parents, dont worry.
8. I just called my mama, and tells her I wanted to settled down in the UK, sounds disappointed :(
9. I wanna be rich and have loads of money, i dont care about clever and funny! Its no funny business!
10. I am scared, scared the influence around mite affect me. Im holding a grip, Ya Allah, Saved me!
11.I have finally got a job! Money! bring it onnn!
12. The end, im off to sleep.

x

No i am not busy, just lazy

2009-08-23T12:49:00.000-07:00
hmmm.

SO many things going on so far. Got some huge probs hit, but i think let me just tell lil bit of em. Takkan sume aspek kehidupan nk tulis kan. Everyone has a secret :)

Anyways, Happy Ramadhan al-Mubarak.
its been a year now im in the UK. phewit.
Like a year straight without Malaysia, I remember when i was back in Perth, selalu je la hai nk balik kan, but i guess, i love UK so much. hahahaha.
Even my mum doesnt allows me to go home atm, ah you know those viruses and she scared that i aint capable to go back to UK if anything happen. Hmm, fair enough, pretty true. So i guess i will stay here la and goin home next year on may, yes!
I supposed to go to Berlin German soon to meet my lovely Sue, however, Malaysian need visa to enter German. Damn. Takda la lama pon nk appy but it cost a lot for student like me kan.

Anyways, I am moving to my new house soon. No more staying with malays people. I am sorry la kan bukan nk kata tak suke melayu atau mudah lupe, but some of em are too conservative about things. I remember 1 nite, i bring all my english friends at home and frankly they all boys kan and plus my one gf natasha (which gonna be my future housemate yes), and plus, i didnt bring em upstairs neither, kat living hall je kot. BUt the next morning i have this huge argument with on of my "conservative" hommie and he said something about "oh ya, but you bring guys at home" and i was like " oh really?, and now you tell me who i live with?" and he says " yeah but your mum knew us" and i was like "since when? my mum never even met you and in fact why you have to involves my mum in this issue?" and the argument goes on. He is soo freaking moron stupid. Ok i bawak my english friend pon chill jee borak2 then i send them home, and the next morning he bring all the tvs and shit upstairs in his room. Hello excuse me? did i ever touch you stuff? . ahh, just some other moron people. See i told ya, i have huge issues with malay, they are too typical to think and start spreading shits bout you. Oh god it has been 10 months i have living with the international and nothing happen and i am the most happiest person alive but now? after 3 months living with malay? hah! WHO ARE YOU TO CONTROL WHATEVER I DID IN THIS HOUSE? he just so angry because one of my friend didnt take off his shoes in the house and he says that they all drunk! HE IS A LIAR! mmg la english people minum but doesnt mean that they are drunk. Dah mmg culture derang camtue, OXYMORON! and he suddenly threw his console ps3 on the wall. He act like he is my husband! WTF! CAKAP JE LA JELES KAN??!!

Huh!, i never knew this post gonna be diss letter number 2. damn. I wasnt plan to tell but i hafto. The conclusion i try to make:

1. Never think of living with malays if you have bunch of local and international friends, because they are too stupid to figure shit because they dont have any english friend.

2. At the beginning, they will okay with your friend, but at the end, they just keep judging like me myself like all those people. Just simply judging and spread shit to all other malays. That is what you do?

3. They are just using you for some benefit. Kalau nk ungkit, meh sini i ungkit, for the past 3 months i live there, who actually purchase the groceries and cooking and cleaning? WHO?!! ITS ME! None helping me. Imma like maid of some wifey shit.and thank god, the decision i made to move out even before the argument is the right decision ever. And thank god i wasnt listening to them to stay longer. THANK GOD.

4. When reaching at some point, when the hatred is all over, they became sucha evil clown. Like there is a huge tumor in the humor and the end of the statement they gonna say "oh, gurau je la,". Bunch of wankers!

So basically, i am done with malays, I am malay but myself i couldnt stand their typicalness and judging like shit. I knew you guys just jealous of what i had now. Maybe i wasnt like before spending my time with the malays and i am always somewhere with my english and international friends. And i knew you guys keeps on complaining where am i and bla bla, but let me tell ya! Nak lepak ngn korang? dan mengumpat 24 jam? i rather being alone. I just dont wanna involve on those any stupid internal probs shit. Hey, go and get a life. I learn from my past. And i knew, they goin to take away my happiness, see i knew it!

Fuh! not all of em like that, just several, but look, i learn loads from my experience back in Perth, I dont wanna be that sad sad girl anymore. And now i am so happy and i dont wanna them (malays) again stealing my happiness!

Anyways, forget bout them, they just some pathetic people who just live in the house not socializing and got no friend. That is why la. I am still happy. Wee. Life wasnt always colourful, black completes the whole set of colour. So i guess, it is the way we handle it.

I know i am not perfect and dont live to be,but before you starts pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean. Thank you.

Selamat berbuka.

xx

..ok fine tak boleh tido.

2009-08-02T20:04:00.000-07:00
haha. its 4.04 now and i am at my friend's. They all already asleep. I am still awake and think to post something stupid. hmm. like what?

Oh yes, i went to cheshire oak's, and i bought fcuk jeans for only 20 quid. Murah kan. Aah, saje nk berlagak, amacam jeles tak? hahahha.

Oh yes, i lost so many friggin kilos, Ade lah cam 8 kg gak la, i am way to skinny now, since i fell sick before. serious, none of my jeans can fit onto my ass. NONE! tuh yang terpaksa membeli jeans baru yang lebih kecil. Ive got more than 9 jeans, and i think i shud threw them away, or jual, sape nk? sumpah x muat. sudah sgt sgt killer longar. ecewah.

See im talking rubbish, ntah ape lah saye mencarut pagi2 bute nie.

ok ok bye.

Boo!

2009-08-02T18:24:00.001-07:00
I am back. Its been awhile. Ok mari update.

I have been sick for a 10 days kan. Baru je baik beberapa hari yang lalu.
I went to se a dr then he suspected me to have a swine flu or org malaysia panggil h1n1.
I was like OMG! Time tuh jugak kan nk nangis, but Thank God! I am fine now.and my mum so coming on the 9th. I was like, Ma, why dont you gave me the ticket and let me going home, cess
My teddy bear is back in town. Its been awhile i havent seen him. He arrived from ibiza weeks ago. He texted me. Yay!!! I cant wait to see him because i knew he is gonna be completely dark as i was there for only few days pon dah hitam.Bygkan mat salleh yang putih menajdi cokelat, sexy kannn? Hahaha. Yes i tell you what, i am definetly dark now. But skin like me its gonna be so precious as many locals craving for color like my skin. Im gonna be so hot (perasan mode but its so true, trust me, i went out and im collecting lots of local guys now, *evil laugh* weepie,). I cant wait for school to start. Im counting the days.

What else, oh damn, my Angela is gone home. Ive got no girlfriends now. Completely no one. I live with 3 malaysian boys now and im looking for a new house. Hopefully ive got a good one soon. Yes i do love living with those boys but its too far and school its about to start, i have to find something closer. Hmm. Oh yeah, my french girlfriend is about to come soon, yay! so i am not that lonely la kan. Partayy. No im kidding.

WQoops, ramadhan is coming, again.cepatnye la hai mase berlalu. adusss..
I am completely hopeless and lazy ass. The job that i have been applied, yes I am hired but gosh they put me in Cannock Hospital. Hello, nk gi sane cam kl-seremban kot. I cant travel everyday. Yes ive got car but my samad is too old (samad is my car name. hahaha)and now i am umployed still and summer is almost gone. I dont know what i have been doing since 3 months ago. Im just use up those money for having fun. My mum is so gonna kill me.

Ok then. i cant be bothered to type anymore. Its 3 am here and i am drowsy. I ave to take my antibiotics tablet. Gosh i am lazy.
Later. Bye.

x

Shamil Hizamie

2009-07-05T18:49:00.000-07:00
Dear my wonderful friend,

Happy Belated Birthday. 21st legally yay!

I am down on my knee begging gazzilion sorry for not wishing you earlier.
In conjunction with that, i know how much you want MU jersey,,err well

Taraaaa!. I "bought" it specially for your birthday. Enjoy!

p/s: ok fine i lied, i stole the picture somewhere on the net. ngeee. but hey at least! hahaha.

love ya. mwax.

..in for the kill

2009-07-03T01:30:00.000-07:00
Lagu nie mula2dengar cam gile annoying kan. But i think im addicted to it now.

Nk tgk the original clip? sile lah ke youtube.com and type sendiri as i its embedded.

ok bai.

Kebabian

2009-07-02T04:40:00.000-07:00

Well i shouldnt publish this but i cant believe she is being so rude. well hello? after i helped you out? When no one wanted to be your friend you came to stoke to find me. Oh ya you know ive got lotsa friend isnt? You just using me. I havent spoke to her for quite awhile. She suddenly getting cold right after i got back from ibiza. Haha, Now i know why, the ibiza trip should be with ya isnt it? but end up i am not even inviting you? Well, only morons will invites you. You and your diva attitude is rather annoying. I rather goin holiday alone than going with someone like you! Biatch!

SHE
Yes Nadd, why did you call me 2x on my mobile phone? Was is because my stuffs..?
Ok, bring them tomorrow in your car and meet me up at station.
Just text me up here on fb.

ME
ler sape kate pasal barang. saje je kol. nk tanye kabar.
adooyh!!

SHE
U dah balik Stoke? Sorry I didn't answer your call, everytime you call I keje.
I don't want to approve friend request from any Malaysians.. Sorry.

ME
pergh sombong sial. Fine

SHE
Nadd, on 2nd I nak my amik my stuffs...

ME
tgk ah kalau i free

SHE
Just leave it at your place. I'll pick it on my own. Is that a problem?

ME
i dont now whats your problem actually. suddenly getting cold. just needed me when you want. oh ya the way u askin the question is quite rude. dont you know how to be bit manner?
i was packin your stuff while you away when you tinggalkan bilik.
and now this is the way you askin me ? not even say thanks.
well yes get it then by yourself. whatever!

SHE
Sabar lah... I definitely gonna say "thanks". Ok, give me your home address.. I'll pick it up tomorrow at 5 pm.
Anyhow, "thanks!"
Apologize for my bad manner.

ME
fuckin rude again? you dont have to be sarcastic la. ask la syawal. dont ever ask me again.

SHE
Please hold this words... You actually are just too young to exists in my world.. Sorry to say this.. But it's actually true. I wanted to say this for a long time already but was finding the right time to tell you. Now, I think this is it.
You haven't explored this globe widely, you haven't got any experiences in every corner of the world and to me, you are just too childish. Just simply say things as loud as you wish.
You have not eaten salts yet. That's the reason why you are like this... You may not understand what Im telling you now. But you can ask mature people about what I mean...
So yeah~ Stop dreaming~ Dont ever wish to gain respect~ or, Respect who you should respect first, then I'll respect you.

ME
haha. looks whos talkin? me being childish or you being rubbish?

You told me i am way too childish but look at you girl, you are more childish than me. I gets angry for reason, but you get cold from out of the blue. You change your mind in any seconds. Who say that? not just me but whole people around you. Your action and your decision is just beyond immature. I am too young? at least i can made my own decision and keep my head straight and oh ya and ive got tons of friends around. Speaking about the age? yes you older than me, but you cant even make right decision and think widely.

Opps, i havent explored globe widely? does sex making you mature enough? Ive got no experience? what are you talking abouut? sex again? You think you know me girl but you know nothing. I might tell 3% percent of my life story but you dont know 97% of em. For you i am childish, for the rest youre the kiddo. You think the world right on your hand. why? because you nailed lotsa guys? Thats the dumbest statement ever. sorry to say.

Think naiza, whole people around really gets annoyed upon you. Brats, bitch, spoiled,immature. Thats what i heard about enough speaking. But i think you arent like that, i try to get to know you, but i guess what i heard its pretty much true, you and your own world, or shud i say weirdo?

Hahaha, Kelaka gila when you talking about:

"You have not eaten salts yet. That's the reason why you are like this... You may not understand what Im telling you now. But you can ask mature people about what I mean... "

Again, you think you have sex with everyone does make you mature. Well, thats kinda immature i think. Ohlala. Look, ive got loads of friend here beyond 28 years. The boys are more than age. They really accept me because i can really hold conversation. I best believe if i am stupid childish i may got no friend, because i will only talk rubbish. Thats what kiddo do. rite? In fact, i know whats best for me, I know whats good and bad. Isnt that childish? Think girl.

I tell you what, Ive been travelled since ive finished high school. Alone. independent. I do everything by myself. I work in multiple places and meet multiple different people in every single stage of age. So for me, people like you is nothing. Just some girl who thought that has been in many relationship and thought she is mature enough.

I best believe everyone have their own childsh side. But its kinda funny when you are pointing out on people and thinks you are beyond mature than anything else. LAME!

You think i am too young to exist in your world.? I never say i wanted to be in your world, even. Oh please, ive got too many friends to enjoy with rather than someone that always kept thinking oh i-am-the- best-than-the-rest.

and yes, you always think negative about things around, like oh i dont wanna answer her phone because this and that. You just too ignorant and thinks people care so much about you. I tried to be nice on you but this is what you do, puking shit on my face?

You talking about malaysian this and that, but girl, you seems like one of those typicals. I am very loud, i keep my head straight, but i did for reason. Not like you, just hiding behind the lining and tried run off from the problem. Oh ya i thinks thats what mature people did isnt? ha ha.

You want people to respect you but did you ever respect others? I am askin nicely and thats what you do in return? You are just too snoobish to describe i am so sorry. Kate orang melayu tak mengenang budi lah kan.

Now i understand why people running away from you, hey, at least now you got point why people avoiding you kan? or shud i say maybe you wayy to "mature" to fit into the society. haha. Kelaka.

You just using people for your own benefit. I met tons people like you, i dont mind really, friends come and go. But what i am scared is for u and ur future. Got no one around because too mature maybe. LOL!

oh hey, i never wanted to gado or soever shit, but if u wanted so, deal. You change ur mind in any seconds. mature people does that kan maybe.

Oh ya, i never stop dreaming, cause i love thinking what should i do in future. I guess you shouldnt stop dreaming aswell and start accumulate yourself before giving out advices. Buy yourself a miror. Thats what i reckon you shoould do.

Thanks for all shit, Thanks for using me, Thanks for being a friend, i guess we no longer friend, Oh ya:

"You actually are just too young to exists in my world.. Sorry to say this.. But it's actually true. I wanted to say this for a long time already but was finding the right time to tell you. Now, I think this is it."

You dont hafto to take ages to tell, i dun mind if you telling straight on my face. Person like u? i never mind losing it. I didnt lost anything.
My philosophy is simple, if you wanted t be my friend, come seat next to me, if not, just go away. I hate being with someone that everyone dislike, it just gave me bad reputation. sorry to say. :)

Why i always gets angry on you? because you always run off probs. the difference between me and the rest, i tell straight on your face, while others just backstab right from ur back. think naiza think.

Up to you la naiza u nk kate ape, do i look like i care? never.
U are weird. Go and have fun in your mature world. You sayin im childish? you shud read again you message and compared which one is the childhish one. Weird people is just gets angry out of blue. Think.

Respect? I dont want to respect someone like you. Go get mirror and think why people never respect or put any faith on you.
You always puts blame on Malaysian, like Bruneian any better? I think worst than us. sorry.

You take care, halalkan lah makan minum. Enough arguing. If you wants to keep doing it hold on. Thats what mature people do i think! Wee.

Life is like box of choc, you never know what you will get. Either you can fit into it or throw it away.

x

SHE
Did I ever throw such words that having sex makes you mature, littlemissngox??? I didnt and never??? Did I ever mention anything about "sex" on my recent message? No, I didn't!!!!!!

Go and keep proud of yourself!

What ever I have done in my life... Good one! Bad one! What ever i said to you on last message... I am not regret and will never.
Ohh yeah!!! Just to let you know that I don't feel anything whatever you said to me. Your essay, give me nothing!!!!! This is just the typical people like you!!!!!

ME
No you didnt. But as my concern thats all youve got. You mention about experiences. What sucha kinda of experiences youve got anyway? haha. you just made me laugh. You talk like you already 30 above or something? hey lady you just a year older than me but act like 12 years old kid and thought got so many experiences in life. You think you know but you know nothing. Funny and shame on you.

Of course i am proud of myself. Look at me? ive got everything around, friends, happiness and i did enjoyed my life to fullest. You? just busy thinking negative about people. You shud thankful i am at least wanted to be your friend while everyone avoiding you eventho im not really care. BUt you just a disgrace girl who doesnt know how to appreciate things. Gosh where you come from? ha ha. poor you oxymoron.

Who said you shoud regret? you just some ignorant diva who thought you control the world. haha. funny and lame. Im not here to judge you but you start to judge, well thank you, imfine with it. I am very loud. so? at least the confidents makes me alive and i know what i do and shudnt do in life. Well just to note you, thats what mature terminology should be not just pointing out shit to people. I always says sorry if i made a mistake because i know i cn be mean sometimes. I never shame to submit apology. But you? disgrace "mature" women. haha.

Anyways, i didnt write the essay to make you feel anything, but at least i am satisfy that i capable to trigger you something. You might be in denial but its def true.

Naiza, you should think life wasnt just all about you. You should accept people around just like do. Thats how you can fit into the society. No one is perfect, if you keeps complaining about people around, you will never had a friend, even. tust me.

I am sorry for being sucha rude, but thats life should be. You are the one who havent eat any salt yet. If you do, definitely you will accept people like me. To note, i am loud for reason. At least im not complaining, If i hate something ill leave it. Opps sorry, im here to teach you coz i think you mature enough.

Well thats it, i love writing anyways, and i think my english is quite good (i am showing off now, do i care?). Thanks, at least i can improvise my writing bit better.

Yes i am a little girl, little girl with confident and ambitious. I am typical, typically know my limit not like some people who thought they are westernize enough. Funny.

Till then, take care mature girl. Have a nice day and life. Good luck in finding perfect friend that can suit you "perfect maturity" attitude.

HAHA.

out.peace. :))

Note: I hate doing this, if i hate someone, ill leave them. But you? I cant believe this. You just disgrace girl. Poor and pathetic you!

Ohlala. I am satisfied. Its not me starts this, its you. I am sorry. Goodluck and Goodnight :)

x

Hey Ibiza!

2009-06-20T21:03:00.000-07:00
HERE I COME!

Weeee,hey job!

2009-06-18T20:56:00.000-07:00
Kring Kring

Nad: Hello
Speaker: Hello, may i speak to Miss Yahaya
Nad: Speaking
Speaker: I am calling from Home Support Centre and i am pleased to tell you that you have been shortlisted for the interviews
Nad: (Scream) Thank God Finally!
Speaker: Yes, congrats your interview will be on the 29th June at 12pm.
(shit)
Nad: Oh my God, on that day i just got back from spain. Is it posibble to change the date?
Speaker: Oh nooo, Hmmmm, I will try to speak with the Dr Morris, He is the one whos gonna be interviewing you and its hard to booked him, however he is impress of your resume and I will call you back sometimes in the afternoon to let you know, i will discuss wit him.
Nad: Oh Pleasee yes, I am so into this job
Speaker: Yea i can tell, I will call you back again ok dear, dont worry i will solve it out.

After 1 hour, menunggu dengan penuh kesabaran

Kring Kring

Nad: Hello
Speaker: Yes I am pleased to let you know your interview will be on 7th of July. I managed to discuss with him. So come to Hanley job centre, someone will waiting for you downstairs and he will bring you to Dr Morris.
Nad: Thanks a lot. Ill c you.
Speaker: Be there, ill see you bye bye.
Nad: Bye.

WIHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FINALLY. Please doakan kejayaan saya!! :)

PanicPanic

2009-06-15T11:59:00.000-07:00
I havent booked any hostel yet to ibiza.
I am so goin this sunday.
Damn.

Im Panic Panic Panic.

yes im hungry. ok bai :)

Weee

2009-06-12T06:11:00.001-07:00

"I wake up every evening, with the big smile on my face"

Mr Garang.

2009-06-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

Ive received an email, they wanted to use my account for money transfer. Well i know its bloody scam, but what caught my attention are when they indicates that i will get the money from this guy. I cam gelak goling goling la kana.

Agak la, mmg Garang pon. :)
Miss Panic scared of Mr Garang. Meowww.

The Show

2009-06-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

This song stuck in my head, and i have been listen to it more than 20 times today.

Miss Panic loves this song!!
Just enjoy the show :)

Lazy bum ass.

2009-06-11T18:56:00.000-07:00
Wehoo..

Im too lazy to write. well whats goin on so far?

I finally moved out. Got very decent beautiful house but quite far. Live with 3 Malaysian friends, Gonna be odd, its my first time here living with Malaysian, so gonna speak Malay all the time indeed. weee. But im moving out soon again when school starts, too far, and i hafto saved my fuel.lol. Recession kan. So need to saved money.
I haven't find any job yet. I am jobless and broke! Ayah! im sorry but i need money.
I am so goin to ibiza, Spain this 21st June. Cant wait. Well he is there. wee.
All my international friends are gone, leaving for good. Damn i miss them!!
I cant wait for school to starts. September 3rd year degree. Yikes.
I was thinking to live here, in the UK. My mum gonna kill me ouch!
Im still finding a job. Dear job. come to me!!

I met few new people, i love them. I just love my life!
I am so happy here. Seriously. I cant be bother to go home,
Malaysia wasnt interesting anymore. Ouch, but im so proud to be Malaysian.
Summer here is a poo. Damn. Its summer but still my gawd cold. The rain is gay!
If is in Malaysia, Sun is rather annoying, but here, WE NEED MORE SUN. English weather is so damn annoying. Gawd.

Now currently i live with my Frenchtalian friend. I just keep her company, because she also about to leave for good before i went to Ibiza. She is fun but omg, she took like 3 minutes to explain one word. SOmetimes its rather annoying. I was wondering, that is me ages ago before i can speak fluently. So my advise: If you goin overseas studying, dont you ever live with Malaysian, or hang out too much with them, I mean yes you can, but English matter, you really hafto find international, good for you and future, trust me! When i was in Aussie, i can speak english but zero vocabulary. I remember i was pausing between sentences and its rather embarrassing. So go and cherish your overseas moment! Indeed.

I am so proud of myself now, im capable to speak english fluently. Yeah, almost a year i live with the international. Makan, hangout,watching movies, even do silly things. It does help. Really! In fact, My Angela help me lot. I love her. And ive got lot of english friends, It even helps more. But need to brush up with my grammar still. Suck at writing maybe. Need to improvise more.

I cant wait to see him actually, damn i miss him like only God knows. GOD!

Hmm. its 3 am. Bed calling, but hell yeah, i slept until half 9 today. Gosh!
Hopefully tommorow the weather gonna be good. Sunshine makes me happy.

I should call myself as miss Panic.
Miss Panic is about to go.

Out and about. Panic is awesome. Lol
x

BOO!

2009-05-28T16:59:00.000-07:00
I am back. Bang bang!

2nd year complete!

2009-05-05T13:06:00.000-07:00
Wehooooooooooo!

I finally finished my exam today.
So im gonna have long holidays starting from today till september.
Bapak lama kan?? HAHAHHAHHA!!!
Im looking forward to work. hols around europe
and yes IBIZAA here i come.
paris, german, spain, france. Pheww! its gonna be deadly awesome!

ok ttyl. nk gi lepak ember. weeee.
:)

x

Gayness.

2009-04-19T09:46:00.000-07:00
Yesterday was deadly awesome. Friday and Saturday was the best night out i ever had.

Ok. on friday me and angela was out to fluid. OMG. byk gile kot mamat hot. hahahaha.
And we played game called: Let just grab guy and dance. Ok hold on, thats not my idea, thats Angela's. Shes crazy mannn, but I love her so much. She is the coolest person on earth. Mane nye tak cool, she stayed in New York since she was young and came here only to do Legal practice. She’s the real New Yorker. Ok She is so lawyer ok, but omg thank god i found her! hehehe. Back to the story, and she suddenly grab this tall guy kan and she was whispering something on that guy ear, then the guy grab me and i was like, “ey whats up!” and the guy was telling me that i told her than i wanna dance with him. Whatafakkk!! I was dead nervous inna way. Like cmon, bayangkan Keanu reeve ajak u lepak same . duh!

..then

Ade this one guy dtg try to chill with us. Irvine nama dia. And he is irish. Cool, cute gak mamat nie kan. And guess what he is one of our friend now. He is the nicest people we ever met in the club..so far. Ususally, guys in the club, they just wanna get laid. Cmon, i met tons crap. Except for my nick. He and Irvine are one of a kind. *wink*. Selepas berkenalan beberapa jam, dia dah cam our old friend dah. I love him, he is soo cool. Guess what, he played for Glasgow football team and he came to stoke because ade game. He loves angela so much and begging for my help to bring Angela to Glasgow, kelaka gilaaa. Oh ya, he gave me his team t-shirt, the exclusive one,,cause i was cold kan. he is the nicest guy i ever met. and yes mr, ill keep that shirt and definitely will see your game in glasgow.:)

oh ya,and what happen yesterday???

Haaaa, ini yang best. I went to angela’s friends barbeque. We were quite late, barbeque starts at 4, we dtg kul 6 eh. And the food sume dah habis, I tak kisah la sgt coz bukan leh makan their meat pon. Its not halal anyways. So makan chips je laa. Anyhoo, I met bunch of gay. But theyre soo cool. I love em. Then they invite us to go to the gay club call TheClub. And i was giving no look to ange but you know, she is really crazy, in fact, i was the only who has a car and drive, plus theyre all drunk so i hafto go to take care of em. Adohai, apelah nasib ku ini. And yes we went there, Where again?? GAY CLUBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!

Ok ok, We were quite late, and kelaka nye, dari bouncer, sampai pekerja sumenye gay. Kelaka gilaaaa. I went in, and i felt very weird, coz, not guys is gonna checkin on you, but GIRLLSSS! OMG THAT SO EEWH. And the guys siap comolot bagai. And i was like, damnnn, but the music was good, All of us dancing, 8 of us but half of em are gay. But they cool. I love them. I went to toilet, shittt, this one girl try to hittin on me. OMG pleaseeee, geli okkk, i terus tak jadi nk gi toilet. After that i force ange to go to other place, in fact we hafto meet Irvin, Pheewww, we left them and head to other place. But GAWD! THAT WAS ODD!!! But it was one kind experience. I dunno how gay club in Malaysia looks alike, but here, habis open ah. Meremanggg bulu roma ku pabila perempaun yang mengorat ku. Adooohaii!

Anyways, im having real fun. With people that i love. Gosh!. Ok i need to do my work back again. EXAMMMMMMM!!!!! And im so in the library.hehe,

ok bye

x

The clock is ticking real fast.

2009-04-14T18:00:00.000-07:00
Breeeeeeeppp.

Gosh so much things to do, so little time
Got exam on 30th and 5th of may and oh my god its FINAL!!
I just got home from the library
and last night was awesomeeee!
Angela! 10 songs straight non-stop in one section, we break the record! ::)

I miss my lil bunny.
He's still on vacation, visiting his dad in east greece. but hey, finals is sooaround the corner you know. boleh gi bercuti lagi, xleh gi on summer ker? adeyh..
and yes mr you texting wishing me easter a day after. You weird! uk time pleasee
omg omg omg. cepat la balik pakcik oiiii.
no, i dont miss you and i lie.
and please spank your "sausage" dog ass for me. HAHHAHA.
xoxoxoxox

Tomoro's plan:

Library, Library, library, makan, tido, Library,
So basically i will be staying whole day in the library finishing my essay.
like what i did today, got home at 1am but damn stil cudnt managed to finished it.
I HATE JOURNALSSS! YOU MAKE IT EVEN HARDER!

ok ok times up. i think i am so half awake now.ngantukkkk!!

later.chalo chalo beteh

x

Happy & Sad

2009-04-06T12:29:00.000-07:00
Well, ive got both story to tell. Happy and Sad.

Let me start with:

Sad
My lovely Susanne already leaving for good.
Damn I am so fucking sad!!
She is the most closed one to me.
Weve done so much everything together, we shared our secret; from light to darkest.
I will definitely tell about her next time.
Sue, you know how much i love you? Dont cry darling, I am definitely going to Munster, German to meet you this summer. cant wait!!!! xx.

Happy
Its Easter baby, got 2 weeks hols before exam starts this 30th. Shyyt.
Anyways, I am so going to london tomorrow for 4 days. LONDON TRIP! yay.
Ive been there once before w my mum, but we dont really explore.
And tommorow onwards, im gonna dig London. From Madame Tussaud to Ministry of Sound.
I am going to experience every single thing in London. Yay!!
Going off with my supercool friends. I bet its gonna be awesome.

Aiyok, My laundryyyyyyyy!!!! i fogot it closed at 10. now its soo 8.42.
Gonna update more and more later.

Nadirah, you are so awesome. Muahahahaha.

will get back later.
xxx

Capital L haunted me..again

2009-03-27T12:56:00.000-07:00
Again big letter L haunts me.

L A Z Y

ASS-ignment,Exam, Presentation, Nick :)
Well, i am really busy, really definitely.
Easter is just around the corner, got 2 weeks holiday yay!!!!!

Ill definitely goin to have fun, despite being cubicle slave finishing my work. duh!
Gosh, This morning i was enrolling for my new semester which is THIRD YEAR: SEMESTER 1.
Wow, dah third year dah, sungguh cepat masa berlalu.

Cant wait for summer hols, got 3 freaking months : June,July,August.
and definitely will be in Paris and German. Hotel: Booked!
And looking forwards to work. and kumpul duit manyak manyak.
Pastu bawak balik malaysia.kaching! $$££$$ :)))))

ok ok. i am so in the computter lab nie, nk wat keje, sempat berblog lagi.
now currently 8.10pm.

Im going out later at 10. Yay!! looking forward, ok dokie!

later. terima kasih sudi membaca.heho.

xxxxxxxxxx

Dear God

2009-03-19T11:40:00.000-07:00
Dear God

My life has changed tremendously.
maybe ini juga ujian dari Kau.
Ya Allah, Please keep me save,
Save from this evil world.
Amin.

Love
Nadirah

Coolio hit me!

2009-02-28T12:18:00.000-08:00
well its been awhile yea. Lots of thing happpen lately. Happy stuff mostly.yay!

Which one i shud start first? well, lemme tell you some interesting story about what happen couple days ago when i was in coolio mini concert in our small nightclub which just few steps away from my hall. Pheww, (take a deep breath) :). Lets start with that one first.

Yes its coolio. Bring back in 1994 if not mistaken laa his one million dollar song called Gangsta Paradise hit the world.

Agak weird jugak la he performed in our place.Like serious??? HHAHA! so i went there early. Pheww. Pack gile ah LRV*! me and friend moved to the front and get our spot. Nk dapat best view kononnya. Then after awhile waiting,

There he is. Was quite closed la kan. siap leh salam lagi bagai. Anyhoo, when he was perforemd his last legendary song which is gangsta paradise, in between, he decided to jump over the crowd.

(okay, this is the crucial part)

He moved few steps back, then he run and jump!

FUCK!

He was fell on me, i was yelling and screaming like hell, He was on top of me now, but atas die ade lagi org, like sardin gitu, I am fucking hurt, i start yelling and cry, ye lah cam dalam gig gitu ramai org. so bile die jump of course everyone fell off jugak. But why me!!! I was the attention for awhile.agak kecoh jugak la time tuh kan, i almost fainted. Macam blurry je pandangan. And what i heard someone yelling like. And i told coolio, "coolio im hurt" but i couldnt breath that time, my voice perlahan je, i give up and continued cry.

"MOVE MOVE!!" And i nmpak ade 3 security was holding me and keep and asking me "are you alright love?" OK? palehotak hang! Serious! i was so the attention kejap. Mmmg chaotic ah cakap. Hahha. And the manager really concern about me. Yelah takut i saman ke ape kan. And she was like "dont get upset yea" Palehotak hang kuasa dua! sakit bodo! Ive got bruised everywhere on my legs.
gggggrrrrrr.

After awhile, i was fine and they asked me whether nk balik rumah ker cane. GIle! bayar 3.50 pound tau. Dtg utk satu jam jek. Mane lehhh! . Then i was lining up utk take a picture with coolio. Then i told him that he hit me. Then! he hugged and kissed me! HAHAHA!

Lucky day, ive got whatever that others doesnt get. Yes im pretty much hurt, but fully satisfied.

Btw, my friend just send me the link about the gig.

Coolio injured in stage dive!

and

"Barman James Fielden, who witness the event, says, "(Coolio) nearly flattened one poor girl"

one poor girl huh? that was freakin me. They shud have probably mentioned my name and ill be on 5 minutes fame. Lol. Padan muka barang kau kene curik. Sakit sial badan akuuuuu! Thanks uxue for the link, i might probably planning to sue him. Ill be rich yay! hahahha.

Me , myself couldnt even believes on what happened.
Good memories i guess, though. ngeee.

Well i guess thats my Crazy experiences overseas number 1.
Noted.

*LRV. our club! I LOVE LRV!
** Ive got few pictures he kissed me but atas menjaga nama baik keluarga gamba tidak boleh diupoad. heheheh.

14 February 2009

2009-02-16T15:32:00.000-08:00
Yes, for some they called Valentines.
For some they called it Hari Kasih Sayang.
But i aint gonna talk about how the day has being celebrate

but.

the day. The V-day of 2009, something really happen.
its about andy the local british guy (cute gila), me and the rest of my european crew.
one word- WOW!
Only my non-muslim friend knew about it. Thanks again susanne for you opinion and to molly too. i had great time.trust me eventhough it happen only less than 10 secs.

*satan laugh!

I will remembered the V 2009 day forever in my life dictionary.
Noted!

:)

Awesome

2009-02-12T04:59:00.000-08:00
Last night was awesome!
Thats pretty much it.
Iv got so many ideas to wrote
but effortless.haha.nantila.

anyways LRV rocks!

:)

Superbowl 2009

2009-02-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

Well as everyone really thought soccer is the thang. Well im not. NFL cud be bigger. Officialy the superbowl 2009 starts today. Pittsburgh Steelers vs Arizona Cardinals

and Steelers rocks! will update later. now i wanna see harisson touchdown.

xx

Thick Snow.Yikes!

2009-02-01T11:56:00.000-08:00
The BBC announced that the wind from russia will expected to hits england starting from today that brings heavy snows and thick aprroximately around 5- 10 cm inches. The coldest since 13 years. Yikes!

Damn.

Tadi me and Sue (my fav germany bestie) went to city walking. It takes roughly 20 minutes. Damn. Tetibe Snow hit! and Ya Allah, Tuhan saja yang tau how sakit it hits your face. Ye lah we jalan lawan arah angin. So mmg angin perghh. Tak boleh bukak mata! And your body full with snow.mamcam peti ais dah.

Well, fer me, this kinda new as walking in really raining snow. Yelah, Dulu kat perth mane ade snow, sejuk pon ala2 suam kuku.heho.

Atikah and fizi, akan ku tunaikan permintaan kalian melakar nama atas snow.
Yay!

xx

Party : My terminology

2009-01-24T16:49:00.000-08:00
Reader discretion advice: This article contains some exceeed length than normal and might bores you. Read with care. And please, dont simply judge. Thank you. :)

I was watching How i met your mother* yesterday. The first comedy series i ever followed. One word: AWESEOME**! Seriously, i laughed my ass off. sampai nangis2. I never watched movies or series that really streams my ticklish tears. Well im watchin second season now. I know imma bit late because they had produced the 4th season, but who cares. I completed within a day. It was legendary***!

Well back to the main topic: The party. While i was watching yesterday. My french friend knocking on my door around 9pm and inviting me to attend party on the my first thought it will be the other hall.

She always tries to bring me to party. She inviting me few times but i always gave bunch of lame excuses like i got homework lah, i got class tommorow lah ape lah, not just her but others jugak especially my close germany hommie sussane (hey girl, finally!:)). Well weve got student club called LRV (which i never knows what it means) situated just less than 50 steps away from my lovely Aynsley**** hall. It opens every wednesday and friday (It was party nite for student here). Well, so far i never been there. And now my hommies girls are trying so hard pursuading me. And i always told em, one day! i love to see how it goes inside.

Well back again to the main main topic (Nadirah! FOCUSED!) : the party on the first floor. Again that night i was giving same excuses.She was holding 4 beers on hand.

hey cmon! lets party! you never attend any party. cmon the 2 french boys are leaving" she said
"Siapalak french guys tue? Aku x pernah kenal pon" my metaphors speaks

"im sorry uxue (her name pronounce as - oo shoo way), i dont even know the boys, duh"
ok this is the funny part

"oh cmon! no one knows anyone, lets go!" she said

"erk" again my metaphors

"im sorry, but maybe next time" i said

"arrgh, you always said next time but you are never, ok ok, please one day come with me, ill make sure next time" she said

and i just grin and she walked away hampa-ly.haha. and i continued watching my favorite comedies.

After 20 minutes again someone knockin on my door. And susana was standing on the front askin me whether im goin. Well again, another girl pursuading me. And again, i was telling same reason and i said "NO!". And then she was like, oh cmon, its only on the first floor (i was on the third), "You can always going back whenever you wants" oh cmon. and i was like wait! the first floor?! Well i like to seeing this one cute french guy which always being nice to me and he lives on the first floor. Hatiku berkata, wah ini peluang nie. hehehe.

After 15 minutes, i decided that im goin! to see how the party goes. My tudung? nah i didnt wear it. I know its bad, but imtelling to myself, well, some of the boys even had seen my hair when they was in my floor, in the kitchen. So i dont want ruined the party, i dont wanna look different, so i followed the satan whisper. I know its bad. but good thing is, im wearing decent stuff, Im wearing my daily-basis-school-outfit but without the scarf. Only (well i tried to comfort myself.gosh!)

And here i am at the first floor,.Wow theres bunch of peoples. All european mixture of few asian and local britain.It was really looks like in the movie. I was jakun sebentar. With so many types of wines and beer, the smells of alcohol and weed fills up the room and susanna was introducing me to their friends. The guys: well i always watched on the movie when the boys and girls greet, they kissed on the hand and chicks and hug you. Well,thats what happened to me, They suddenly grabbed me, kiss on my cheeck and hand and they are drunk. Funny part, i was soo hypnotized. This is kinda new to me. I cant just simply push em. It was somekind of social enviromental control rules which i was flowed and control by the situation, i was stuck into this social pressures.

Myth
Well rules number one: If you wanted to be accepted in event, just followed the flow.

Fact
Well i was followed the pressure, but my keimanan masih teguh, i didnt drink!!!! I still have stable emotion that greatly differentiate myself and them and i am so proud to be muslim. Thats what im proud with.

And there is one dugaaan after uxue came to the party (she didnt know i was there). And the crazy part she was screamin seeing me in the party. She hugged and said, hey i wanna take picture with you and we were just laughing with some girls and boys. And then she was like offering me beer. She was like, you were in the party, you have to drink! Oh cmon! (satan whisper number 2). Hariku berkata: ya Allah, kuatkanlah imanku. Then she was offering me cider (the apple juice mix w little alcohol) I almost drink that which i at first i diddnt know, then i think the apple juice smells weird, I think God loves me, so i put it back. Alhamdulillah

Surprisingly susanna wasnt drink too. Im proud of her, Haha. Well the party looks great. evryone was so nice and flirting w ya haha. And there is one paris guy was flirting so bad w me. I know he was so drunk. He kept on hugging me, and yes, i do it slowly, ku menepis dgn cara yang baik. Good job nad! you conrtol the situation.
And the funny part he was askin me whether im a new student, and im telling him that i was in the uk since last year, september, but he didnt trust me.He never saw me in any party and i was giving my no-look to sussane to not telling him about anything. And again he tried to flirt and flirt. Then there is one guy behind me which is my classmate that sits beside me in the morning class. He was like standing holding the beer and grin. And my i was like shit, he might knew who am i. and im askin him do you recognize me? and die angguk. damn!.

Then im giving him no-look again to not telling the paris guy anything. and he just smiles and says ok and were laughed. Then after,i asked him again, where he find me. and you know what he says? " Oh at some other party". Hek eleh, penipu! and hey, funny pickup lines too and i know he was drunk. And i was like "Pheww!"

I am so thankful some of em dont even recognize me except for certain guys which are my close classmates and my hommies friends which always hang out in my kitchen. And there is one conversation that triggers me. He ( the one that knows im wearing scarf) askin me that he thought if wearing scarf i was not supposoed to showed my hair to the public. Bannnnggg! It was so terpukul kan. And he asked me am i goin to open it forever and he told me i looked completely different and got nice wavy hair and why you are hiding it? Soalan yang mencabar gak kan. Then i explained to him, well i told him everyone made sins, i will remain as same person wearing the scarf during whenever, I am muslim and that represent me. And im here, just to see how it goes. Just to experienced, at least once in my lifetime. And he smile and said, im fine with it, btw i love your hair and give me some flirty look. errr? i think i shud leave him. And again the paris guy hit on me, and talk more sexual stuff. DAmn!

The party was fine. And i was like, oh camnie ker party. Takdelah mende sgt, setakat minum, pasang lagu, jerit2, borak2. I used to have both thought angelic and devilish in my mind

Devilish and satan: Kenapalah aku tak macam diorg, best nye life camnie, byk cute guys, cam cool gila dow.

Angelic: Party? bukan ade mende pon, mabuk, muntah cakap merapu, sakit perut, balik. diorg nie sebanrnyr yang xde life. Thank God, i was born like where im standing now. Aminn.

So the conclusion, everyone thought party was soo cool. was so yeah baby yeah. You are mostly will be most respectable and got lots of friends. You will look cooler if you are party animal. Well guess what yoou are not. They are just your friends when drunk. Like what i have this conversation this afternoon with susanna. She admits with that statement. You are going never had real friend in party. Today in the party they are so nice and friendly, tommorow, if you met em in the library or anywhere, they ignores you like shit. Well i guess thats the western lifestyles. And whats up with muslim yg drink? Cool? Well, i think you just being control by the social pressures. I am so indulge knowing im still a muslim who kows my limits. I know i made sin by bukak my tudung just to attend some stupid party which no one knows anyone full with pretentious, again, talk, drunk, talk,crap,drunk,flirt.pretend thats it! Itu fun? well in my own opinion, that stupid, sorry no offence.

Everyone has their own opinion, but again, I was syukur kepada Tuhan to chose me to be a muslim. I may not got anything that westerners have: the hot sexy beautyness, the coolness but i owned hapiness. I got God which i believes in.

We are all pretenders, and really thought having so many friends will reward you as the winner. Its only make you a loser, at the end of the day, you dont have anyone, trust me, you lost

Well, now i felt very proud to be Nadirah BINTI yahaya. The girls yang masih akan kekal bertudung and try so hard to be better muslim and person everyday and survived in this wildness country.

Dear God, Im humbled, Help me. Amin.

*source: Susanne the Gemany girl.Ok now im addicted! I will make the review on this comedies later.wait till next.
**The famous line on the series
*** Again, the famous line too
**** My lovely hall name and i loved this hall so freakin much. Aysnley rocks!

The future looks bright

2009-01-22T13:26:00.000-08:00

"I, Barrack Hussien* Obama....

I was astounding and proud by the pledge on the most historical event in world : The Inaguration 2009 - Obama officially starts governs and run the world.Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. I love his speech. He reminds me of Martin Luther King. Very convincing!. I was so focused watching and feels the vibranity, the national spirit, the sensational towards the world future president. I am not American. But to be honest, Im American fetish since i was young. I love everything abt em. The accent, the universities, the places, well almost eveything. I get so excited when people starts to talk about the states. Well wait, there is nothing wrong right? well yes, regarding the war in Gaza and i know i should hate em. But look, weve got new president now and he mentioned about taking role to stop the war; well thats good side yea?

"To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect."

Well that line really made me believe that American perception towards Muslim will slightly changed. Isnt that a good significant sign? I have a dreamt, to visit there,one day. To be in Harrisburg, PA. one day, some day! Why PA (Pennslavania)? Mana leh bagitau! Secret. and lemme keep to myself.hihi

I love this line too

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations

His legacy command one word: Fantastic!. He tried to alter the conflict issues, strengthen the economy, increasin the youth education, to lays and build the foundation of tommorows generation, to cure the global warming. Well isnt that great?

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true

However, i certainly understand, when Barrack Obama take the pledge in front of billions of people in the world will not instantly stop the war, the economy magically will gets better or global warming will stop. But i do believe when he takes the role he capable to do those. To changed the world, economically, globally, psycholagically. I know he will be a legendary one day- just like Luther.

I almost shed my tears off when watching it. I believe in him. To make this world a better place. The speech is an idea of our narrative future stories. It hasnt come to the end, yet, well it just began and i cynically believed the result will make the world happy.

Obama will make the change. He, himself represent the keyword change: the first black president and that means a lot. He symbol of the race, the idea of low and middle class people and yes,he is the president that symbolize diffrent level of people , race, and religion.

The future looks bright. InsyaAllah!

"..do solemnly swear.."

*Hussien? sounds muslim.wasnt that a good sign? maybe sigh!

Seven Pounds

2009-01-15T08:12:00.001-08:00
Everyone seems like reviewing Twlight movie. and i was wondering whats so good about em. I get myself a chance to watch em last sunday. Overall,well it was a good movie. Though. but the plot wasnt really caught my interest lah.It was just ok la. However,you got to watch this : Seven Pounds

I dont have to give any reviews. Go and google it. This movie is a bomb. Enough said
..for me at least :). You will start streaming you tears down right when the first 10 minutes of the movie. Trust me. damn! sedih gilaa!! I have to watch it again!

Highly Recommended!

..blur and confused

2009-01-13T17:05:00.000-08:00
i was so blur.
i was stuck between two
i was running from myself
i was figuring
i was eliminate
i was contemplete
i was advocate
i was blur.

well thats all past tense huh?

i will allocate
i will imagine
i will suffocate
i will fight

present tense?

i am confused
i am lost
i am bitter

no.i am not here to teach grammar. but

i was confused
i am confused
i were confused.

and

i will tell you not today but one day,some day, another day why!
wait until next entry.

****

Surat Cinta

2009-01-11T03:00:00.000-08:00
Dear Blog

I am so sorry i have abundant you for this past 3 weeks. I miss you. I just realized how i miss you. This is may sound weird considering how long its been since i called or wrote.. but

I love you

Yeah, the big L word*

I started feeling guilty right away, and don't think I ever stopped. It wasn't always conscious, this guilt; more of a constant, growing weight.

I felt guilty because I was mad at myself for allowing myself to stop doing something I really love to do, which is to write you.

Working against the clock to finish ass-ignments in college,final exams (the economy? yikes!) really gave me a buzz. It was a challenge, a tangible signal that I was running out of time. It was terrifying and enticing. Thats the reason why i negelecting you

Im sorry.

Its been 11 days now, for 2009. All i hate about 2008 had gone.forever. Alhamdulillah! Hopefully this year bring more joy and prosperous- well thats sounds too formal yea. haha. Well i dont put high hopes this year. I will definitely make sure 2009 will bring more happiness-no more cry perhaps :) ..and hope will forever continues. Kita hanya mampu merancang but Tuhan yang menentukan.

Procrastination is another lame reason i dont write lately. Im just so hopeless to train my finger typing again on this freakin keyboard- well after 4000 words of assigmnts? well gimme a break. Hahaha. I was reaading a website about time management as a way of procrastination.

Anyway, all pieces of advice on procrastination, no matter how sweet, had an underlying message: "Just freaking do it already!"

"FINE" I said. "But first I will write a blog entry." After all, I've definitely been procrastinating on that. Look at my draft. There are bunches of un-finished blog. again the big letter L haunted. I am just plain LAZY.

My new semester starts tommorow. Damn la.cepat gile! Baru last week kot exam. Arrgh.
Oh ya i should add - less stress, no more last minutes works, get organize, and stop being freeakin lazy on my 2009 list-hope. LOL!

Well im off. Will hope i have the "I Will" power to wrote a blog next time. Yes! I WILL!

Well watchout!, Nadirah is back and ready to strikes!

Later.

*for loser too.am i? dangg! hehe

Busy crack

2008-12-29T23:23:00.000-08:00
exam.nextweek.assigmnt.havent.done.report.2.paper.yet.
hectic.lazy.cold.whether.stupid.
stafford.rindu.semua.kawan.malaysia.salam.maalhijrah.
newyear.newdoor.newlife.2nd.semester.american.
tyler.webcam.best.erin.suke.dia.ha.ha.ha.nescafe.
stokeontrent.finally.home.sorry.busy.malas.ha.he.ho.more.
update.afta.exams.
yea.barcelona.here.i.come.take care.bye.bye.
have fun.selamat.tahun.baru.2009!

xxx

Christmas yang suram

2008-12-20T18:45:00.000-08:00
well.i have 12 housemates.and now currently 4 je. semua balik cuti ke negara masing2.
well yeah its xmas anyways.
the whole university hall sunyi..xde sekor pon mnusia macam usual..mygod! sunyi.
later i will upload pictures and u can see how sunyi nye tempat nie jadinya.
warghhhhhhhhh..ihate it so much.and i was in the room everyday siapkan report yang x siap2.aiyak.complain complain complain.
oh well ive got 3 weeks left before exam and submission.damn!

Nadirah!! u can do it!! chaiyokkk!

..i

2008-12-15T16:34:00.000-08:00
I woke up kinda early today
And something told me from that moment
It wouldn't be the same
It felt like you were hiding something
But I didn't push it
I didn't complain or say nothin
I tried acted like I didn't see it
Cause deep down I knew I didn't want to believe it

The Beauty in Ugly

2008-12-13T22:46:00.000-08:00
She's so big hearted,
but not so remarkable
just an ordinary humble girl
expecting nothing as we're made to think
its a pretty person's world

but you are beautiful and you better go show it
so go look again, you gotta be true to your own
if you really wanna go to the top
do you really wanna win?
don't believe in living normal, just to satisfy demand

Ok this song by Jason mraz haunted me ever since yesterday. Ive listen to it like gazillions time. Thanks to ismail :). Oh ya until at this moment im still listen to it. I don't know why. Every time ive listen to , I feel some spirit on it. Its like the spirit of the coin. Spirited yet haunted.. Hahaha. Im terribly addicted la weh. Aiyo. Its like my soundtrack-of-today.Pokok pangkalnya in every aspect of my life laa. Specifically for today lah. And ive told to myself I hafto wrote a blog about it at least before I tido for today. Ok let starts.

Confucius believes that beauty is the eye of beholder. Beauty is too subjective and everyone has different interpretation about it. Ok chop! Why i brought up this issue? I'am greatly being tickled about several people surrounding which contemplate with this issue deeply. Hehehe. Everyone loves beauty, so do i. For women, they often chased for someone who is in good- looking type area, so do men. Physically speaking, first impression if we've met someone are we often judge by their physical appearance. I often heard this statement which are:

"Tgk perempuan tu, hot gila

" Tak hensemnya lelaki tuh

" Perempuan tuh x cantik langsung'

"Awek dia buruk gila

"Balak dia x hensem.

"Perempuan tu comel, bukan cantik"

"Takde lah,dia real life buruk gilaa"

"Perempuan tuh cantik cuma gemuk gilaa"

"Lelaki tuh hensem cuma kurus sgt"

"Lelaki tu hensem yg jambu"

"Wow,bapak hensem mamat tuh seyh, badan tough siyut"

"Dia xde lah hensem sgt but stylo laa"

"Awek cun, balak cam muka pecah rumah"

"Bf dia x hensem, awek cam model, pelik seyh"

"Perempuan tuh seksi, tapi x cantik langsung"

"Kalau mamat tuh kurus mesti hensem"

"Alaa, perempuan tuh x cantik sgt"

"Mmg padan pun diorg dua, dua2 buruk"

" Fulamak, tgk tuh seksi siyut awek tuh,rase nak …"

Tell me you are smiling and yet tell me you used to use one of those statements with your friends especially when gossiping. Both party sama je, Lelaki dgn perempuan. Most people often say that beauty is not the main criteria, but to be honest darling, looks often be judging first rather than personality. Correct me if im wrong. Ngee. Sudah menjadi lumrah kehidupan manusia mahukan kesempurnaan dalam setiap aspek kehidupan. So do i. But does really look gives or promises happiness? My answer is definitely no.

Why im so in love with the song above. The beauty in ugly. I believe im the ugly one. I hafta compete to stand up tall, to win. I hafta live more than normal. Work extra hard to compete in what we've call "the pretty person world". Why im states that im ugly. I have met several guys in some serial dating and usually after we have finished the conversation the last statement mesti "Nadirah!, uve got ur own beauty". Oh cmon! Own beauty?!! Why don't u just straightly tell me "Nad, u are ugly but I love ur personality!" Oucy!, Sounds harsh, but that's life ey.

Technically speaking, beauty comes naturally if you have good personality. A thing of beauty is a joy forever: Its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness. Ive met several guy which can put into good looking species, however, most of them can't talk at all, precisely, duh they can talk but not in intelligent way. What they can do is bull shit all the way. Why God why im wasting my time talking to this dumb-handsome guy. Mathematically speaking, as my age increases, the way of thinking also increasing but I cant find out the answer why god why those guy among the good-looking-lah- sgt are totally childish-foolie- unmatured- disastrous. Why god why?! People often judges someone bf or girlfriend by looks. First thought mesti " lawa tak awek dia?" "hensem tak dia?" Cmon la, not the physical je played the role in one relationship organization. It contains every aspect. I don't know anyone, but myself, im looking for someone which can talk deliberately, can be a leader and protect me at the same time. Well crap sometimes, takkan la nk org yang cakap cam Luther King 24/7. But at least xde la lari dari radar.got me? Oh ya, im not thinking for short term relationship but long long live relationship. Future relationship, ehem2.:)

You know what, God help you if you are an ugly girl because too pretty is also your doom: everyone harbours a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room. Trust me, being pretty creates high jealousy feelings and without realizing it creates hatred. Oh ya, I thought being beautiful is easy, trust me its not, :)

So dear people, beauty is not everything. Beauty is just like a souvenir of pain. Its unbearable and just drives us to despair. Beauty is just an idea that provides perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction. Its too subjective. Things are pretty, graceful, rich, elegant, handsome, but, until they speak to the imagination, its not yet beautiful. John Ruskin wrote a book call "the stone of Venice" quotes "Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies, for instance."huhu

Cmon la babe, if u are intelligent enough, you can figure out yourself. I believe beauty comes with brain. Good personality can covers the ugly. Trust me, oh ya, I does that. Ngeee

well if you wanna get free
and if you wanna do the passionate thing
and if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart
you should own your name and stand up tall
and get real and see the beauty in ugly
and see the beauty in ugly

so beauty or brain? its your choice baby.:)

Good girl gone bad

2008-12-13T19:06:00.000-08:00
Easy for a good girl to go bad
And once we gone
Best believe we've gone forever
Don't be the reason
Don't be the reason
You better learn how to treat us right
Cause once a good girl goes bad
We gone forever

(*&^%%$$##@@)(@#%%^$

trust me

..not an ordinary instant noodle

2008-12-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

This video kelaka. kelakalalakalak.
one word.genius!
Benda yang mudah bukan mudah ok.
Leave u to ponder :)

Recommended.

Oh Britney

2008-12-07T03:28:00.000-08:00

CIRCUS ALBUM IS JUST OH MY GOD
I just would like to say this album is tha BOMB!

This is the official clip.
CIRCUS

well.im her fan since forever.
I grew up with her songs
she been through a lot
so do i :)
And this album has massively change.the music the lyric.
oh my my.i feel ur spirit brit!

shes the only pop queen i followed.
well x cool dgr pop? at least im not pretending to be fake indie fan who just doesnt really know what is actually indie music to be concise.
Hye, im indie fan.yes. what? i dont look like one? oh cmon.
Indie isnt just wearing skinny jeans and speak like A samad said.
Indie is a genre. which independently produce words beyond nature.
oh dulu ku mmg minat international indie music,until kedatangan hujan and meet uncle husin,indie became the lamest thing.trend i shud admit :)

Coldplay is another musician ill be crying off
I remember one germany girl knocks on my door, and ask me "are you a coldplay fan?"
"U are playing the songs all over again everytime i passed ur door"
Susanne, yess i am! all the lyrics are far beyond good. I know every single thing abt them, their past album. and oh ya, the new album is just tha BOMB. Fanatic.Try me.
They are my obsession. I would like to meet you, the fanatic fan.
and Lets talk about them,it never bores me :)

Anyways

excuse me? its Britney bitch.

Bukit Antarabangsa Landslide

2008-12-06T03:01:00.000-08:00

(pictures courtesy from nazley wordpress)

Mygod! not a again!
Bukit Antarabangsa is not the place to stay.
Trust me.Takziah kepada yang telah meninggal. 3 org so far i heard.
Grief condolence.
Al Fatihah.

btw, takut kan? macam kiamat?
Ku bukak ym,byk petul status takziah.Takziah kepada kawan2 mereka yang terdekat yang telah meninggal
Im the one yang observe.I dont know im just scared.

Petanda? Nauzubillah.

fath? kau ok kat sana?

Two types

2008-12-06T01:02:00.000-08:00
There is only two types people in the world
The ones that entertain and the ones that observe

There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me, and ones that are scared

Just like a circus :)

Oh essay part 2

2008-12-05T12:20:00.000-08:00
I have gone crazy, previously i have been writing 700 words of rubbish.
My lecture sent an email abt the essay guidelines. Ive been researching on the whole early this morning, like so early 5 am. just to gone look for the appropriate example of academic essay. Padahal zaman kat Perth dulu byk kali dah buat essay. I dont know, ive got brain freeze, and and after long holidays, my brain dah expired. no seriously. My cerebellum for some reason doesnt progressin and react very well. AIYOOOOO.
Its your bloody description essay la nad. supposed to be argument,
Oh ya, argument argument argument argument argument argument argument argument
Keep that in mind u dumb. ARGUMENT!! mygod sgt la very the stress.

End up i found this one guidelines which helps me a bunch.
Some sources from Harvard. Mygod. Thank You!
I deleted my 700 words of rubbish and working out new words.
Finally, After 14 bloody hours i am being cubicle slave, i managed to finished 900 words.Kali ini ku tersenyum penuh bangga. Karangan itu ku bace berkali2.Puas.
Ini barulah academic written essay.

Baca balik lagi
dan lagi
dan lagi
dan lagi
dan lagi

Senyum!!!

900 dalam 14 jam? gile skit je buat. Weh, bukan senang nk cari sources lagi,scholar lak tuh. And then memikirkan jargon lagi, how to intelligently compiling and produce those words.

Now aku puas.

600 words to go, gimme a break.Ill finished up tommorow, i really need to rest and eat!!

Aku apa?? aku puas! MUAHAHAHHA.

Terima kasih kerana membaca rubbish bebelan sebegini. Ini nama nye self motivate.
Muahahaha.

ok nk makan n tgk drama tv3. drama Melayu. duh?
ok bye.

lalalallalala..wehooooooooo

p/s: For those yang mengalami masalah yang sama macam diriku ini, silelah ke
Harvard Guide
Zoomygod pasti membantu. Kalau tak tak taulah. sendiri mau pikir.:)

DearHarvard, You ROCK!

mode: silly, happy, wonderous.

:)

Oh Mulut

2008-12-04T22:12:00.000-08:00
Satu fakta, dua penipuan
yang pertama kita ambil, dua buang
kenapa mengeluh?
dengar cerita lagi, dah jenuh berkali-kali
komplikasi dalam komunikasi jadi konfrontasi
mulut orang perosak reputasi, pembunuh motivasi
mereka pakar fabrikasi, modifikasi
di depan senyum, belakang dengki
yang cemburu mungkin teman kita sendiri
siapa tahu?
peduli, kita dah semuanya bersama
dah senang bersama, dah susah pun bersama
ketawa bersama, menangis bersama
kubersumpah harap kita mati pun bersama
ke akhirnya

The pen is the tongue of the mind.
"A knife-wound heals, but a tongue wound festers."

Mulut orang kan. Mmgla tak boleh tutup. Unless kalau kite selotep mulut die.wahehe

So chill. :)

Essay fabricate stress. I promise.Trust me.

2008-12-04T05:42:00.000-08:00
Stress Stress Stress. I have been altering my essay fer the whole day today.not just today, i think fer almost 3 bloody weeks now.

Assignment topic: How smoking bans gives beneficial and detrimental effects in the UK businesses?

Length: 1500 words.

Essay specification: Argument essay

ler 1500 je, xde ler byk tapi keco cam dissertation or thesis 15000.HEH?!
well guess what 1500 thousands word is simply a nil. Pinpoint! However mister, IT IS NOT!
Well, im very good in arguing with people, arguing with multiple points. Well Nadirah, big clap to you. You are very good. However, i may not have the ability to compile the words in argument-so-called-academic-essay. Dee Ayy Emm And. Too bad nad darling.
Well i have sent off my essay to multiple people and their feedback indicating its a good one.but im just thought it iss soo not!

Well nad, look at the first point. Its an argument essay. Not a description. Put as much as however, thus, moreover, claimed bla bla yada yada. Squeeze off as much quotes that you found. go to google scholar and try to find as many scholar journal as you can. Try to relate it. but wait here is another problem, I HAVE TOO MUCH INFORMATION WHICH OVERHWHLEMED ME. its superhighway info's which definitely kills my brain..zzzzzz.

The essay actually kene hanta lambat lagi. On 7th January, but yeah, like i didnt have to finished and study other subject la.aiyoo.

well done 773 words. 772 to goo.but what i have to delete that,its not related, bla bla yada yadaaaaa. wargh i wannaaaaaa SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMSRRRRRRREAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

mygod im soo stress, why i shud write off those essay? who cares if they wanna smoke everywhere they want. Its your health its your responsibility lah. Lagi mau kesah ker. ((**&&^^^#@$!%@^#&*(

Ok done nad.stop complaining. let get back to work.

*relieve mode.Thanks fer reading and your empathy is greater medication atm.

haih.student student :)

Snow Fall

2008-12-03T21:11:00.000-08:00

My first snow fall.excited la at first, but then i realized its too cold to go outside. how hard is that. the road is slippery and your leather-dry-clean-which is not cheap jacket gets wet. aiyoyoyo.

Tomorrow's gonna be heavy rainin. Presicely everything on the road will be freeze off.And definitly it will freeze ur hand.Sakit woo.
Well now i have gone realize how wonderful Malaysia for some reason. I can wear anything without thick heavy jacket and wool gloves and wear tights and jeans at the same time. Oh ya, im Eskimoian now. Aiyoh!

TO be concise, I MISS MALAYSIA! :(

Obvious obviously observence

2008-12-02T05:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.

Porno Whatafak!

2008-11-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

OK i love listen my other flatmate using shared folder. Most local's (UK/ EU specifically) doesnt really listen to mainstream music. Thats why la i love sgt listen to their's library,different genre and music, rare lah kate org. Bosan2 je dgr my iTunes definitely will clicked kat shared tuh. Ok and last couple minutes before i jot this is a whore. I clicked this fella, dIts a video, i tot its a movie, because usually other student around loves to shared latest music and movie.

I clicked it, uh-uh--ah ah--kissing sound, and i was thinking, At first i tot its just a music, coz xde video pon appeared, and then i click another tab, i saw one big snake being sucked by a fucking woman. Fak! Its a fucking porno,i watched it for 5 second, then terus tutup.

Damn! In my life i never watched porno except for those yang teraccidentally dalam movie. Some said, watch porno will get u horny, HELL YEAH! IT DOESNT HORN ME AT ALL.. SCARRRYYY ADE LAH! Nightmare sial, terngiang2,, ewww geli gile, x penah terpikir canelah org tgk porno. GELI!!!!!! dear porno freak, x geli ker??

whatafak! GOSH im cursing a lot. Seriously, walaupun just tgk fer few second i think its really harm my brain. Sebab tu lah x elok tgk mende2 cemni, doa tak terkabul katenye. Ya Allah, mengucap panjaaaaaaaaang...

*Long sighhhhhhh

btws, siapalah flatmate dalam building aku yg tgh layan porno tuh. xleh belah siyuk!

ok ok, 2.56 am, ive got class at 11.aiyoyoyoyo..

later,off!

Arggh!

2008-11-24T17:52:00.000-08:00
Ok today is do damn stupid. Normally on Monday ive got 3 lectures straight and 1 tutorial! I thought today is my productive day, while is not. FaderMader tul.

OK 6 am i woke up,still dark ey, I clean up myself, subuh and cooked! wow! fer myself if i managed to subuh means its going to be really a productive day. Ok done, I ate spaghetti instant and i put a lot of cheese. Wow, gile heavy kan for breakfast? im a food lover darling.lalala.:)

Im like the first person wake up and cooked, dgn cuaca yang hampir mencecah 3 darjah, ye mmg sejuk. sesejuk antartika.ecewahs. Ive seen nobody except this chinese girl time tuh tgh mamai kot kul 7 pagi cari milk dalam peti es sebab i was saying "gud morning to her" and die reply ape ntah, yang pasti bukan bahasa inggeris.heho

Then few minutes before 9, i get on prepared that time it was 8.48. I shud starts walk lah. My lecture Hall is just 8 minutes away frm my hall.

9.01, masuk lecture, well 8 minutes seems not the actual accurate time.haha. Macam biasa, listens to lecture, take notes, oh ya our exams right after christmas,on January, so basically this is the crucial time to attend because you will get some of the tips, soalan bocor la kate org.hahha. Suddenly, i felt my body digest inna wrong way, i turn out to be so sleepy, i felt so chessy, oh ya blame the heavy food that i ate

Than 10.30 finished, oh ya ive got tutorial at 11. So ive got half and hour lagi so i decide to get back home. Well then i walked and seems like i walked faster than 8 minutes, maybe sebab excited kot nk balik, lain kan, before and after. u got me? haha

Then i checked on facebook , then i slept, i switch on my hp alarm to 12.00,But i really hafto attend my Marketing and Econs lecture at 1pm onwards..Soalan bocor tuh i decided to skip tutorial because i am so damn sleepy, weehoooo. nie sebab cheese la nie. ,cheessy tul.

*sleeping and dreaming mode.

I woke up, preparing myself to go to another lecture, demn Its dark! 4.30 pm. Check balik alarm ooo patut lah aku gi set kul 12 am. DAMN! I MISSED THE SOALAN BOCOR!! whatafak!

gggrrrr

Lake District

2008-11-21T16:45:00.000-08:00
3 minutes away from scotland, really hope its good ey.

Tomorrow,LAKE DISTRICT! here i comeee!

:)

Oxfordian oh my my

2008-11-17T16:21:00.000-08:00
well, tgk nie

My God! she is soo articulate kan? smooth speaking, dah tgk byk kali dah, asik ulang2 je, I lover her accent, oh ya, shes American.hehehe.no wonder i love her. hehe

Undergrad kat harvard, MBA kat oxford, pergh giler kan,patut lah she talk so deliberate and intelligent. Die cakap cam cepat, but semua like soo useful . My God, nk jadi cam die kot plis!!!

:)

Forget Ghost, Lets have fun.

2008-11-17T15:32:00.001-08:00
ngee, well, forget about the ghost, naaah, i never believe on that, no no,
i mean yes i do admit the existence, but naah, not in that particular picture, lets take it positive lah. hehe. I am a positive girl. yeah baby yeah.

Well, got nothin to pen out. No thought. Im just boring lah
Ive got 2 weeks left, then cuti christmas than exam, than have fun.
MyGod cepat kan. Dah abis satu semester. Well imma bit worried about my macroeconomic.
However, recently i ter-fall in love with this subject. I really hope i can do well in the exams. Oh yeah, i used to hate economy back in school, but now, im fine with it, fortunately.ngee

Hmmph, well i look at my previous blog and look at some other blog jugak, x kisah la local or internationally, Technically speaking, Ive seen most people do express their feelings using this medium, blog. This is the best command to centralized our idea and thought, oh ya, the medium to err fight? :) all utk meluahkan ketidakpuasan hati so on. Well, yes so do i, i use this medium to spill out my unsatisfactory regarding certain things. But the central question now is do we really achieved that satisfaction?

Well fer me, yes i do,at least the message is there, Looking at my previous entry, yes i admit i am such a drama queen. My GOD! haha, too much complaints about life and things, Well, Mathematically speaking, now im no longer teen. im twenty! I looked at and take things more easily, yet still learning. hehe.

Hmmph, so do others i guess, why do we really have to complaint much about life?
Well, my life are far beyond happy now, thats why i thought i shud have stop complaining now, oh ya, pretty yess i guess.heheh

Wow, i wrote too much, ni lah die, kalau blog im able to type 100 words less than a minute. Hebat kan? but tgk la kalau essay ker ape ker. ahahaha, I bet it took more than a life. :)

ok la. nanti we talk talk some more.

tc peeps.
:)

Shamill Hizamie: Tag me?

2008-11-14T07:42:00.000-08:00
OK, i hafto jot down 7 weird things about myself. Oh ya, ive been tagged by milky. Dia suruh! haha.

Ok heres the list:

1. Talkative is my strength and weaknesses at the same time. Its gud to talk a lot, however, sometimes when i talk too much, that words may apply something unexpected. I may not know whether it hurt others or not. Thus, i tried to decrease the level of pok pek and be more careful, yet, im stil trying. Orang kate, nad kalau diam sunyi, but bile bising memekak lak, siol tul.haih.manusia x reti bersyukur kan? mwahaha.

2. I am so procrastination. However, recently, i promise to myself to change, like jangan melengah2 sesuatu, I jot down on the paper what im going to do, before tido, ill make sure each of em done, and from that u wud feel how good you are. Full Satisfaction babe. x percaya? cubalah.

3. Tak boleh study dkt rumah, bilik, or erti kate lain dkt dgn laptop ku. Mesti nk gi library. Otherwise im not gonna make my work done. Too much facebooking, blogging, or stalking other work on the net. Haih

4. Cepat terasa,cepat reda, Today i akan mcam so marah, sampai bersumpah taknak tlg die lah ape lah, but at the end of the day, i will be fine, terasa cam ok dah. Oh ya, i never will ashamed to submit my apology. eventho cam x buat salah. Rase cam bodo gak, xpelah, let me start to come clean.:)

5. This is bad about me, i always argue with people. Nadirah, stop ok.!

6. I am America fetish. I love everything about states. I tend to get so excited when people starts to talk about it. I love the accent, the place, the university, the film, OMG. I LOVE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I think my life will complete if i managed to go there. One day i guess. And some of my fren told me, "haih, pergi haji xnk pulak? x complete?" duh, thats another part.:)

7.Before i go to sleep, ill make sure my room are tidy and neat. Weird? i am weird!

:)

Amacam shamil? membantu tak? jhahahhahah,.

xx

Barack Obama

2008-11-05T08:04:00.000-08:00
Finally! Alhamdulillah.

OBAMA menang!!!!!!!
ntah aku lak rase excited.

dear mr Obama!

I love you more than i hate bush.
Please, we really need CHANGE.

"our destiny is not written for us, but by us"

i felt so overwhelm, rasa nk nangis pulak, *emo lebih

BARACK OBAMA! I LOVE YOU!

*yay! Im American fetish since forever. I really would like to go to states since forever,
now i can see my dream almost becoming true. oh cmon, skrg obama president.
nothing to afraid dah!

I LOVE YOU!

US Prsidential

2008-11-04T17:44:00.000-08:00

Barrack Obama!

my vote definitely for him! as i wish!
go barrack! we need CHANGE!

Good Luck.

Atiqah Aziz

2008-11-03T09:51:00.000-08:00
Sorry babe fer not highlighting ur name on my previous blog. Lupee.sorry.

haa this entry specially for you.

Atiqah! I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

miss nk lepak mamaks!
mis mis misss.:)

hehhehe.

jgn marah aku lagi okeh.

tc sugah!:)

Somehow, i miss

2008-10-30T17:02:00.000-07:00
just came back, sending off baby,his going back fer good.oh ya he is a boy,dun get me wrong.
all of us called him baby,weird huh? hehe. going to miss he bullying on me.

people come and go
i dont know.
i am jaded on my own space.

somehow i miss malaysia! Klcc, i miss
somehow i miss perth, my 2 years life over there.
i miss the people..somehow.
somehow i miss rajab and hakam, the two sempoi-est engineer i ever met.they enlight my last moment in Perth, they came cheering me up in the middle i am so give up with things.oh ya so do mira and zarith.
somehow i miss my school days, my frens
I miss my fabulous 6 closed friends, naia,atiqah fath,samil,erin,fz
reminiscing the old good days.

somehow i miss mr arm. eventho he annoyed me sumetimes,
but i miss the moment i cherish with him like every day, every night we spend.
i miss fighting over him.i miss sneaking out during midnite went to malis.
i miss waiting fer hours at lrt wangsa maju, waiting him to fetch me up,and yeah bebel at his ears along the journey.
i miss when were fighting,yelling over each end up doesnt talk fer a day.
then were be fine.
OMG, i miss him, no seriously.

somehow, i miss my old gym life, i miss saiful the trainer, the first one i ever fall off, i miss jody, the kacak model!,i miss fitness first crew. i miss kak davina, spending over hours chatting in the sauna,yet going out lepaking at coffee bean some more, like everytime,ever evening frankly coffe bean klcc has closed.damn.
i miss how like everyday i went to gym, there i met tons of people.omg,i miss

i remember, back in perth,during a night at bus station, he mentioned about life is an episode with so many twists and turn, yes hakam i admit that.

now its been almost 2 months im in the uk. i will never know whats ahead, whats next.
but at the moment i am very happy, im proud to myself, i have been through a lot.seriously a LOT!

i think i shud cry now,cry for missing those old days that i have, cry for successfully been through hard time in my life, so far. a big clap to me.

oh ya got long way to go, i always write off like this, to motivate and rewind whatever that happens, oh ya last time i jot down on diary, now, i would like to share with people in the whole wide world.

look at me! I AM FAR BEYOND HAPPY NOW. hopefully this joyous will forever continues.
well, im in the uk now, just wait fer another drama i guess. i pray to God, hopefully this time it doesnt involves me, at all.aminn

*yawn,sleep time,:)

Harry Potter

2008-10-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

"fight back you coward!"

OMG!!! x sabar! next yearrr!

i am a HARRY POTTER freako.psycho.
the only science fiction that i followed.

mmg la the book macam dah lama keluar but i dunno.somehow macam nk tgk jugak!
hahhahhaha.somehow the actor/ess yg buat the charcter jadi alive.i like.
omg sungguh tidak sabar.

any harry potterian?
:)

Snowwy

2008-10-28T17:56:00.001-07:00

time nie baru turun.so x penuh lagi.ahaha.best kan?
but OMG sejuk gile babengs.
haihs.

:)

My first SNOW.

2008-10-28T12:25:00.000-07:00
OMG..today 1st time in my life i nmpak snow. its like OMG.

hahahaha.its so unpredictable.
best jugak.
but the snow for few hours je.
but damn im so excited.
i wll add the picture soon.
my first snow.
OMG! so excited.
sejuk gileeeeee.

ngeeee.best!

social networking

2008-10-26T18:00:00.000-07:00
oh ya, browsing myspace.damn.i dont have any intention towards getting touch with strangers dah.not like ages ago.borig sudeyh.maybe sudah tua kot.ahahaha.
im on facebook.getting touch with real friends.reality friends precisely.

oh, social networking? hmm.really has changed my life. in human context, its the simplest medium to find new friends. Oh ya,i do have internet-circle-of-friends. which the principle is easy. The simplest 10 steps that i believe to have internet friends:):

1. Getting to know that person virtually, no matter what networks are you using.could be anything,myspace,frienster,facebook. Oh ya, creates perfect profile to impress people. The more people impress, the more la people add kan.

2. Greet them, ask them ritual question like, how are you?, hows everything?, Hows ur day?

3. Dont ask silly questions like dah lama online?. Always send off comments to get in touch.

4. Take off ur camera, dont mind la any kind, cud be phone camera, lappy webbie, digital camera, or if you would like to get perfect pictures, get slr. sumpah your picture will turn out beautifully outrageous.

5. Good pictures attracts more people. Avoid took picture from the front. Amik la dari atas.This is often position on putting up on your profile. Like cam the best posisi lah,confirm cantek. walaupu buruk senonye.ekeke.This what we defined as vain pictures. Amik gambo sendiri ler dalam erti kate lain.:)

6. After get to know each other, ask their ym, msn, or any tools of messenger. Chat with them privately. Ask more personal questions. Be careful, this is the best time to show off ur personal skills which may attract them. So this is the crucial part. Be careful.

7. Ok, chat with them more often, more often, more chances to meet up in real.
Try to get more personal. Like dah tau slightly their background kan, so cam rase sesuai je nk berkawan, get their phone numbers.

8. Set a date. Meet up.

9. The end part, which the significant time to think wisely, whether that person suits enuff for u, are they good/handsome/pretty enuff fer you. And then, take it or leave it.

10. Just wait fer another message, call, if no, move on.starts the ritual again.

hahahha. this is what i thought. no i mean usually this step on that guy punya side la. Ive experience it, sebab tuh la tau.hahahah. Sometimes ade yg try to impress you so much, but sometimes after date, im to mean to ignore them if x suke.agaga.jahat kan? heho. Thats life ey. Please dont deny.

Well i guess, im tired on this game lah. Im about to quit. Like seriously, I dont wanna meet strangers any more. Ive got enough. Well, i guess im too tired dah.The anxiety is not there. Enough said. Im far beyond happy now circling with lotsa people. Too many to handle pulak. Hahaha. Trust me, especially when like im in Malaysia kan. Like hafto meet all of them! OMG! xleh handle. I have to make a schedule to date ngn org. Like each person. Have to set on specific day. Kawan real pon dah cam ramai gilaaa. OMG. thats why im so super duper busy woman when in Malaysia. Haha. Itupun sampai ade yang tak sempat jumpa.sampai merajuk la kan.ahahahha.But i enjoy it so much la.bestt.ngee.

I dont know for others, but fer me, internet sometimes in this millenium kan does provide you the easist tool to meet new people. I mean in environment context, like some really doesnt have chance to socially meet people outside.Too busy kan. In fact is not easy to meet someone that meet your criteria. Well at least the internet helps la. Well we just have to put in faith on vitually information that has been sent over, yet not until we met, then the real info spoke. trust me.

well fer me, internet doesnt really works fer me, maybe kawan je kot ok la.utk menambahkan kenalan la kononnya. ahahahhaha..

thats my interpretation la. Is just my opinion. Like what i stated above "opinion is like an asshole, everyone has one,".hahaha. tc.

*yawn.sleep time.

Tgk tv pon nk license?

2008-10-24T07:46:00.000-07:00
damn.dapat letter today

Your student address is not licensed for you to watch TV.

To the present student

If you're are a student, you need to be covered by tv license to watch or rcord tv as being broadcast.It doesn't matter what channel you choose-it could be terrestial, cable or sattelite. And it doesnt matter what equipment you use- it could be console, laptop, or mobile phone. You still need to be covered by license.

If we dont hear from you at all, an enforcement officer will be scheduled to visit your address. If you found to be using tv without license, you may be late prosecuted, summoned to court and fined up to 1000pound plus legal costs

and i was like kepale hotak die. tgk tv pon kene ade lesen? uk nie bodoh lah!!
and yeah tgk online tv pon kene bayar? the lesen costs me 162 pound. darab dgn 6. u do the maths.byk kan? baik shopping polo or ck kat factory outlet. at least dapat la selai dua branded stuff.bengong nye uk. cane aku nk tgk tv3 nie.haihs.

tgk je la.if officer die dtg.aku nyuruk.hahahhaa

Monyet pon ada perasaan.kan manusia?

2008-10-22T17:19:00.001-07:00
ok this one i grab from syam. he forwarded messages to all.
well i dont really read forwarded messages.
unfortunately while cleaning up my rubbish on mailbox.
i accidentally read this.check it out.sgt very de sedih.:(

Maafkan saya kerana saya tidak bijak mengarang. Saya
bukan penulis. Apa yang saya yngin ceritakan pun
hanyalah tetang monyet, haiwan yang sering jadi bahan
sendaan kita, bukannya tentang wang, saham, barang
kemas, kekasih yang jelita mahupun banglo besar. Saya
tidak bijak bercerita tentang itu

Baru-baru ini saya ke Negeri Sembilan untuk
mengunjungi rumah seorang saudara. Sewaktu kereta
melalui hutan rekreasi Hulu Bendul di Kuala Pilah, nun
di depan sana ,saya lihat ada sekumpulan monyet
mundar-mandir di sisi jalan yang sibuk. Ia seperti
terburu-buru untuk melintas.

Saya terus memandu dan sewaktu kereta semakin
hamper,saya terkejut kerana ada seekor monyet
menggeletik di atas jalan. Ia baru dilanggar salah
sebuah kereta di hadapan saya. Pantas saya menekan
brek dan memperlahankan kereta.

Kereta semakin hamper dan dada ini berdebar apabila
melihat monyet itu terus menggelupur dan
menghempas-hempas ke atas jalan. Kakinya
terketar-ketar. Di sisinya ada darah dan cebisan
daging.
Tapi paling menyentak perasaan saya ialah apabila
melihat perutnya yang buncit itu terburai, dan dari
celah luka besar itu tersembul sesuatu berwarna
kelabu. Tahukah pembaca, benda apakah yang saya lihat itu?

Benda kelabu itu adalah anak yang masih dalam
kandungannya!

Pada ketika itu saya terasa tubuh ini menggeletar.
Saya pasti, si ibu monyet tadi akan mati sebentar
lagi. Begitu juga dengan anaknya, nyawanya melayang
sebelum sempat melihat wajah ibu.

Sebaik melintasinya, saya pandang cermin sisi dan
belakang. Saya nampak kawanan monyet tadi bercempera.
Ia berlari-lari mendapatkan si ibu tadi, tapi kemudian
bertempiaran semula ke tepi jalan kerana hamper saja
dilanggar kenderaan yang lalu-lalang.

Mungkin kepada pembaca sekalian, apalah ada pada nyawa
seekor monyet.
Ia hanya monyet. Haiwan hodoh. Hidupnya di hutan,
tidak setaraf dengan manusiawi.

Tapi tidak kepada saya. Pulang bercuti, saya terus
catatkan surat ini, kerana peristiwa yang saya
sebutkan tadi sebenarnya telah mengingatkan saya
kepada sebuah peristiwa yang berlaku pada awal
1990-an.
Ketika itu usia saya masih di awal 20-an. Hari itu,
saya diajak oleh seorang bapa saudara untuk memburu di
hutan berhampiran rumah. Saya bukanlah minat memburu,
tapi daripada bosan terperap di rumah, saya terima
ajakan bapa saudara saya tadi.

Masih saya ingat, beberapa jam berburu,matahari pun
sudah meninggi, tapi tiada seekor haiwan pun melintas
di hadapan kami. Pelanduk, napuh, rusa, ayam hutan dan
burung yang selalu berlegar di hutan itu, seolah-olah
bersembunyai jauh dari kami. Hutan itu sepi.

Saya bertambah rimas, pak cik pula saya lihat mula
kecewa. Hari kian beranjak petang, pak cik
menepuk-nepuk senapang Relanya. Kata pak cik, "Kita
balik ajalah, hari ni tak ada apa-apa.Mungkin esok ada
habuan."

Kami berjalan pulang, tapi selang dua tiga puluh
langkah, kami terdengar suara riuh-rendah di sebalik
pokok-pokok besar di hadapan kami. Saya mengamati
suara itu, ternyata ia dating dari sekawan monyet yang
sedang memakan buah-buah hutan.

Saya perhatikan pak cik begitu berminat memerhatikan
haiwan itu. Di bibirnya ada sebaris senyuman. Senyuman
> > yang saya faham benar maksudnya.

Adakah pak cik hendak menembak monyet-monyet itu?

"Haa. Pak cik nak tembak ibunya, lepas tu pak cik nak
ambil anaknya, nanti boleh bela," begitu jawapan pak
cik.

Masih saya ingat juga, saya beberapa kali mendesak pak
cik supaya membatalkan hasratnya itu, tapi gagal. Saya
gagal mengendurkan niatnya.

Tidak akan saya lupa kata-kata pak cik petang itu,
"daripada balik tangan kosong? " lalu dia mengacukan
senapangnya ke arah kawasan monyet tadi, dan ?
DAMMM!!!

Demi berdentum saja senapang, bercempera dan
lintang-pukang monyet-monyet tadi menyelamatkan diri.
Hutan itu riuh dengan bunyai ranting patah serta jerit
pekik haiwan berkenaan.

BUUUPP! Ada suatu benda yang jatuh ke tanah.

Saya terpandang seekor ibu monyet jatuh berdekatan
kami. Saya dan pak cik terus mendapatkannya. Dari
perutnya bercucuran darah pekat. Anaknya yang tidak
mengerti apa-apa terlepas dari pelukan, tercampak
tidak jauh dari ibunya sambil menjerit-jerit.

Si ibu merengus-rengus memanggil anaknya dengan lemah.
Ia cuba bangun dengan besusah payah sambil tangannya
mencapai akar-akar pokok untuk mendekati anaknya.
Sebelah tangan lagi menekap perut yang masih berdarah.
Ia berusaha melangkah tapi terjatuh semula. Digagahi
lagi sambil berguling-guling ke arah anaknya. Si anak
yang baru pandai berjalan jatuh, bangun mendapatkan ibunya.

Si anak itu terus saja memeluk ibunya yang kesakitan.
Masih terbayang jelas di ingatan saya bagaimana si ibu
monyet tadi memegang tubuh dan menatap wajah anaknya
puas-puas, kemudian dicium berkali-kali.
Setelah itu dibawa si anak ke dada lalu disuakan
susunya. Saya dan pak cik terdiam melihat si anak
mengisap susu manakala ibunya mengerang-ngerang
perlahan seakan memujuk sambil menahan sakit.

Hati saya tersentuh. Betapa si anak yang baru melihat
dunia tidak tahu bahawa ibu tempat dia bermanja akan
pergi buat selama-lamanya. Saya tidak mampu menyelami
fikiran ibu monyet tadi, tapi mungkin ia ingin memeluk
anaknya buat kali terakhir, sepuas-puasnya, kerana
selepas ini ibu akan pergi.

Ibu tidak akan dapat memelukmu lagi apabila kau
kesejukan, menyuap mulutmu bila kau merengek
kelaparan, juga melindungimu bila kau kepanasan.

Mata si ibu monyet itu memandang ke arah kami.
Tangannya memeluk erat si anak seolah-olah enggan
melepaskannya, biarlah ia mati bersama anaknya.

Matanya saya lihat digenangi air, masih tidak lepas
memandang kami dengan pandangan sayu, mungkin ingin
menyatakan betapa kejamnya manusia.

Dosa apakah yang aku lakukan hungga aku ditembak?

Salahkah aku bebas ke sana ke mari di bumi indah
ciptaan Allah ini?

Tubuh ibu monyet itu berlumuran darah, begitu juga
dengan si anak yang masih di pelukannya. Beberapa
detik kemudian, dengan tenaga yang masih berbaki, kami
lihat si ibu mencium anaknya untuk ke sekian kalinya.
Perlahan-lahan tubuhnya terkulai ditanah, bisa penabur
dari muncung senapang pak cik tadi tidak dapat
ditanggung lagi.

Si anak menjerit-jerit memanggil ibunya supaya bangun
dan melarikan diri dari situ, tapi si ibu sudah tidak
bernyawa lagi. Puas menjerit, si anak tadi menyusu
semula.
Di saat itu perasaan saya terlalu sebak. Saya
perhatikan pak cik, dia beberapa kali menggetap bibir
cuba menahan air matanya daripada tumpah ke pipi.

Tapi bila melihat si anak monyet tadi menjerit dan
menggoncang-goncang tubuh ibunya, akhirnya air mata
kami tumpah juga. Saya betul-betul kesal dengan apa
yang berlaku.

Susana sunyai kembali. Si anak monyet itu kami rangkul
dan bawa pulang, Biarpun ia terus menjerit-jerit dan
enggan berpisah dengan ibunya yang telah mati.

Di dalam kereta saya hanya mendiamkan diri. Begitu
juga pak cik. Pada ketika itu saya dapat merasakan
betapa kejamnya kami kerana membunuh satu nyawa yang
tidak berdosa. Biarpun monyet itu hanya haiwan yang
hodoh, tapi mereka juga ada perasaan, ada rasa kasih

kepada anak, rasa saying kepada ibu. Tapi kita
manusia??

Mana hilangnya akal waras kami?
Selang dua minggu kemudian, anak monyet tadi mengikut
jejak ibunya. Pak cik memberitahu saya, anak monyet
itu tidak mahu makan dan asyik menjerit-jerit sahaja.
Mungkin ia rindukan ibunya. Apabila malam, keadaannya
bertambah teruk, dan akhirnya mati.

Kini saya sudah bekerja dan berumah tangga. Peristiwa
tadi sudah saya ceritakan kepada anak dan isteri saya
agar mereka mengerti bahawa haiwan juga punya
perasaan. Yang kejam adalah manusia, walaupun kitalah
satu-satunya makhluk yang Tuhan anugerahkan akal
fikiran.

Tidak lupa saya memberitahu mereka betapa agung dan
sucinya kasih sayang ibu.

well enuuff said.sedih! dot.

Oh ya.Happy Birthday to me

2008-10-22T16:52:00.000-07:00
well 19 october 2008 yang lepas.
sudah genap 20 tahun.

Thanks kak Ara, buat surprise pukul 12 malam.
And thanks to syida utk keesokkan ahrinya making a cake fer me spesel lagi
and yeash surprise kan me with puluhan org di rumah amir menyanyikan lagu hari jadi utk diriku ini.Menangis ku dibuatnye. Thanks a bunch korang! sayang gile korang. Kawan rapat aku kat sekolah pon x pernah buat. Kan rakan2? u know who u are. hahahha.jokes.

THANKS! SAYANG KORANG GILE. For me real friend is someone that capable to remember ur birthday. I dont needs any cakes or any present, card. Just by two magic words "Happy birthday" its beyond enuff.particularly.fer me.:)

For those who wished.Thanks. sayang and appreciate sgt.

ngee.alemak! dah 20! xde no satu kat depan. haih! dah twenteeen! HAHA. NK JUGAK TEEN.
x boleh belah.

:)

OMG, Murah Gile!

2008-10-22T15:57:00.000-07:00
ok here is the question

Where is the place where i can buy timberland shoes for 19 pound?
Polo Ralph Lauren stuffs you can get as cheap as 20 pound?
Levis jeans less than 40 pound?
Calvin Klein superb fantastic jeans for less than 50 quid?
Cardigan from Fred Perry for 17 quid or even less?
Ted Baker shoes for 12?
Adidas Originals shoes for 20?
Stella McCartney adidas stuffs for 10?
Mulberry less than 100 pound?
Gap for 10?
Burberry, Dkny dan OMG byk lagi branded designer brand.
OMGGGGGGGGGG.

jawapannye tentulah CHESHIRE OAK!!!!!!!!!!!!

serious people, i am so tak sangka barang2 branded situh murah gile.
ok kedai punye esklusif, cam omg, nie mesti kene ada at least 100 pound kalau nk masuk.
Lupekan je la angan2 takut tuh yg penting mmg murah nk mati.
Tolong la ya Allah.
Cheshire is actually one of the largest factory outlet yand boleh didapati di United Kingdom nie.Ada 145 branded stores.
Factory outlet? OMG.who cares. bayangkan barang superbranded sgt murah nk mati.yang tak tahan tommy hilfiger punya jeans boleh didapati serendah 40 pound? nk fainted pleaseeeee..

me, erin along and gf nye telah bertolak dari stafford seawal pukul 11 today dan sampai lebih kurang pukul 12 lebih.satu jam la jugak. BUt surprisingly me and erin shopping till tutup kot. pukul 8. Sampai penuh bonet kereta. x muat dah. punye lah best gile shopping.

Dont convert la please, but if convert pon stil murah la gile nk mampus. Bygkan kan ade this seluar last time tgk dkt polo ralph lauren msia klcc for 700 rm. but kat sini baru 50 pound je kot. 50x6=300rm. Still jauh beza kan??????

Oh ya sini billabong roxy and any other australian surfing product yg lagi mahal. Kat OZ cam ek eleh gile cipan murah. sini mahal gile k. Lagi mahal dari Ralp Lauren or tommy or even CK. Oh ya, those branded stuff tu kan mostly brang UK,no wonder its murah. well, u know how it works kan. brang luar lagi mahal dari barang sendiri. u know.business stuff. :)

For people like me yg tak kaya,i prefer to shop kat outlet gini.ye lah, xde beza pon kan.branded gaks.cume rejek..but taktau la for some yang kaya raya mati kan. but i dont care!
I LOVE CHESHIRE OAK!!!!!!!

ok pasni nk cari kerja.kerja kuat. nk bawak duit beratus2 pound.nk beli sume barang idaman.muahahahhaha.ape barang gune duit mak bapak! huhuhu.

Click out this wikipedia cheshire oak for more information

Cheshire Oak website.

maaf gambar xde pon.terlampau busy masuk setiap kedai.OMG ade 145 kedai kot.patah pinggang! ahahahhaha..

me and those penat gile shopping. erin amboih shopping byk gak.kasut sampai 2.
Along pon sama.eleh aku pon sama je.penuh la bonet.hahahahaha.
ok ok.looking forward nk kumpulduit byk2. SHOPPING PADA BOXING DAYH PULAKS!! mesti lagi murah! OMG TAK SABAR!

::))))

bulan ni dah sengkek.nk kerjaaaaaaaaa!

Feera Zain

2008-10-22T15:22:00.000-07:00
I MISS YOU TOO! full stop!

later when both of us aint busy, well be chat over again okayh.
looking forward to update little too soon.
send my regards to ur love ones.
take care flower.

im much appreciated for your entry that dedicated fer me.
miss you too lah bunny.
ngeee..take care babe.

:)

Lost

2008-10-21T16:35:00.000-07:00
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

Good huh? OMG!

Wahai mata

2008-10-16T18:35:00.000-07:00
mata oh mata kenapa kau xnk tido?

aiyoook!nk tido.nk tido.nk tido.nk tido
abis sume cerita da tgk.
facebook dah check.
myspace dah reply
youtube dah bukak and dgr berjuta2 kali lagu sama.
maggi dah makan
tea jasmine dah minum
and now i really need to sleep.
i need quality sleep.pleaseee

Ya Tuhan, Wahai mata cepatlah tido.esk nk bgn pagi.
kene study weh! 5 chapter macroeconomics belum di cover.
dammmmmmmmmmmmmn!

nadirah! tido please

*yawning.

Good Prediction

2008-10-16T18:33:00.001-07:00
today's mode:

If you are not in the mood to be social right now, then the worst thing you could do would be to force yourself to go out. You cannot convince yourself to have a good time if you're just not feeling it! When you pretend that you're having fun, you won't be able to fool anyone -- your acting skills are just not that great right now. But even though you're not into hanging out with others, you will still have some good energy. You'll just be able to enjoy it more alone

ya ya! tepat sekali.hahahah.100 markah!

Full Stop

2008-10-16T04:28:00.000-07:00
im totally over you.
im getting fed up la weh.
ive done almost everything to save our comfy-relation
but i gues u dunno how to appreciate gratitude on me
don't your parents teach you how to compile words before speak up?
u hurt me a lot. far away loads.
im not just count on what u did say yesterday.
but months ago. yes maybe im so patient at that time.
but i guees ive saved all hurt-words enough.
im the one who "ko cakap lepas-aku cakap lepas balik"
but frankly,i dont have the ability utk balas balik at that time.
maybe ive got feelings kot over you.so sabar la konon.
and yes,let me speak up! its my turn!
i used to like you.no i mean love you.ewwh.
i hate using that 3 words again to you
am i happy here?
yes i am! far beyond happy.
go away.go and get a life.
if you cant go and download one.
bongkak, angkuh, sombong.
hey u tot im gonna chased over you ker?
im sorry la weh.ive got heaps that far away better than you.
as you know ive got lots. TONSSS! but am i stupid to choose you?
no i mean to wait for someone like you?
i guess yes.
yes maybe months ago, im hoping u to be the one.
im sorry, things change, people change. i am change.
so do you, go and buy the brand new attitude.
u know what.if u keep acting like that.i bet no one will stick on you.
NO ONE! no wonder ur ex's left you.ive got the answer. full stop.

i might seeing u again in 3 years time.
and i really hope that u have change.not fer me.but fer urself.

digg it or loose it!
Nadirah! lets move on. smile!

Three Wish List

2008-10-14T15:38:00.000-07:00
3 peoples.
i would like to meet.
yess,my life will complete.

Dr Mahathir Mohammad!
Coldplay.
Oprah Winfrey.

please.i wud not ask for moreee. i promise.:)

raya.raya.raya.again.08.

2008-10-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI 2008

omg.im having so much fun raya this year.
peoples are beyond good and friendly.
especially sraffordian lah kan.
im far beyond happpy.yay!
so my raya isnt that bad ey. best jugak.

1/2 raya. malam raya. Takbir! rumah kak ina.
1st raya is boring.ive got classes
2nd raya is quite okeyh. visit few family houses. open hse!n amir hse. ngee
3rd . visits more and more family houses.
4th. kak ara's open hse. oh ya. ive got bad dayh todayh. i came at 11 pm. i cam with chicken and coconut milk on my hand. oh ya, and my bengkak eyes. tears really streaming down my face. hahaha.its a funny thing to tell. but oucccchy! :)
5th. MIRA"S! went to manchester and met my lovely and best buddy. my mira! hahaha. quite fun and happening. got the chance to met quite few new staffordian.
5th night. went to ning's with baby,amir,arul, shida,isa. oh ya! that night was happening la kan.because everyone is talking abt din. I mean gossiping. Ya Allah kau ni din.like OMG.ur story is everywhere. u are the man. superstar. hatred.cuckoo!
6th.Birmingham! went to abg zul's. met tons of new faces. no i dunno them.at all. hahah. its just ok la.boring skit.hahaha.maybe i didnt get the chance to get to know the people kot. or they just being ignorant.ntah.but few new people my batch seems fine.
7th.classes.
8th. more and more classes.oh ya cooking time fer the boys.adoy!
9,10,11th.went to wolverhampton! makan ribs yg sedap! tlg abg nik move's out.more lepakin.
12th. Staffordshire malay student open hse. OMG best gilaaaa! enuff said.
13th. Diba's open hse.fun!. full stop!:)

here is the sneak peak of my raya.
oh ya raya its all about taking pictures kan.
hehehehe.

Takbir

Amir's

Manchester

Birmingham

Stafford

oh ya.got more.were uploaded at facebook.
btw.this is mine,im craving fer more gorgeous picture from mr photographer,Bariiii!
i want pictures! full stop! hahaha.

Ini lah mr Bari,on the left.dia adalah photographer yg hebat.:)

haha.im so xde keje atm, got 8 hours to go before classes.duh!
well people, im so having so much damn fun.
i love the people! hehehehe.
plus, i eat a looooooot.
oh ya.raya its all ab out gaining weight kan.
hhahahaha.

ok la.im off.zzzz.take care.have fun!

Aidilfitri 2008

2008-09-29T03:59:00.000-07:00
Again im goin to celebrate my raya abroad.
Different country pulak kali ni.
Its in the lovely coldest UK.
As my age increasing, raya isnt excites me compared to years ago.
When i was young and naive.haha.
But yet, i do want to spend my raya with family la kan.
Ya la, raya is the only time to submitted my apology to peoples especially my parents.
Every year ade je dosa kan, tipu lah ape lah, hahahahah. so are you la ngeks.

So dgn ini, saya ingin mengambil kesempatan untuk mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya, Mintak maaf la banyak-banyak zahir and batin. 0-0 okay. Halalkan Makan minum.

If there any words that might kill,
If there any act or wrong doings that might hurt.
I would like to say that i am very very sorry from the bottom of my heart.
Selamat Hari Raya peopleeeeee! Have a gud one! Drive safely. Have a great journey ke kg.huh

haih.sedih pulak.*sobs

this picture somehow reminds me of joy and tangible memories back in Perth.*sobs
Raya 2007

Vibrant feelings

2008-09-28T16:04:00.000-07:00
Ive made vow to no one but you
I pledge that my love to be forever and true
So low that only you can hear
You will feel my love even we are apart
You will know that we are one in a heart.

Damn!

Kenny

2008-08-30T10:26:00.000-07:00
i read the famous kenny sia's blog

laugh my ass off. damn funny. no wonder he can be so famous.

try and checkout la weh. funny killer.

psst, his from Curtin University of Technology,Perth WA.

what?? my ex universityy?? if so i will be like him la kan. one day.

ngeee*

Boredom

2008-08-29T22:45:00.000-07:00
Boredom surrounds me.
Boringness control my body, soul and vein.
I need to go out.
no i mean i really need it.
seriously yes definitely!

Countdown to UK

2008-08-29T10:12:00.000-07:00
From Perth to United Kingdom, I bet its going to be a spectacular journey.
It is tremendous experience that i should cherish.
Thanks to my parent which open this gigantic opportunity to me which does not offer to many people.
Im among the luckiest person in the world. I swear to God. Syukur.
I believe something happen fer a reason.

God, this is blessing in disguise. Syukur to YOU!

Im hoping fer the best, Pray fer me..

6 days to go, nooooo! im not ready please..haih.

Ramadhan 2008

2008-08-29T09:51:00.000-07:00
Gosh! Sungguh cepat ku rasa masa berlalu.

Another Ramadhan is coming.
Another Raya is just around the corner.
Im getting old.
The next thing i know im the one who gave the duit raya
hahaha.
And yeah,the next thing, im the one preparing raya for my family. i mean owwwn family. real own
Adoyh. Time flies faster than i cud imagine. damn.

Anyways rakyat!

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK.

Semoga ramadhan kali ini membawa lebih keberkatan kepada kita.aminnn.

haih, how i wish i can raya kat msia u know. oh no! ive got class.damn!

tc.

Fall for you

2008-08-29T09:46:00.000-07:00
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true

*sigh*

Finally

2008-08-28T09:08:00.000-07:00
Yay! Finally i managed to organize my blogspot.
Penat nie figure out how to put those righty side entry.haha.
Butwhen i know how to do it, gosh! im addicted to it.
Barulah best nk mengarang dengan cemerlang and put up daily info.
If not xde mood je nk tulis blog. now yes sudah ade mood.

Ok people, just wait the next entry ey.

Happy 51st Birthday Malaysia!

2008-08-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

Its Merdeka people! 51 years years of independent.
Few days to go. Hmmph, However the celebration isnt like before. Dont you think? I dont see people put flags on top of car. Why people why? Are we people getting less patriotic? Oh ya, maybe dunia dah maju rite, and people getting loss of touch with the history of how Malaysia being colonized. how sad. Are we care enough? "zaman dah berubah, dunia dah maju" oh ya that quotes has fully given the answer. haih.

The matter of time.

2008-08-16T06:38:00.000-07:00
ive got so many thought and idea to share.
unfortunately my life getting busier than normal.
especially when is in Malaysiaku gemilang, i dont spend much time to go online
tho, got heaps things to do before im heading off to uk soon.
my life full with unexpected things. im so thankful and happy with it.
i promise i will jot down more more more stuff soon when i arrived in the uk.
coz i know i will be a cubicle slave again.haha.
24/7 day a week, ive just got 2 hours per day to surf. omg! ive spend more outside.
im on the street almost whole day, life's on the street is pretty fun i tell ya..hahahha.
i love MALAYSIA! its an overwhelmed feelings ey. hehe.

neways, ive got 19 days to go. UK! im comiiiiiiing!

HAPPY MERDEKA! 51 years weve living independently, but yet the states of mind still hasnt fully independent i reckon, yet that skeptical. hahaha.

lateeeeerrr. toodless

Art is cliche

2008-04-13T07:44:00.000-07:00
People has different interpretation towards art.
For some photography is the way to express their artsy fatsy,
For some music is the gigantic art
For some dressing up is an art
For some, just doesnt know what is the meaning of art, defining themselves as an art fetish because you look cooler by doing so,oh ya for me thats an art. haha

For me, im defining and expressing art by writing.
The art of writing is beautiful. dont you think? i love creative writing! Im enable to express everything, anything, and something just by pushing the buttons on board, and yeah the world is reading. I no need camera with different sizes and types, i dont need instrument, i dont need weird clothes to express how art am i. i have just need a brain and staring the surrounding and put all thoughts together, puzzling myself and contemplating with the nature, walah! im producing a piece, a piece that you can only found written by me. repeated loudly ONLY!

Thats what art means to me, for some writing blogs is such a waste of time, oh ya,i rather writing better than doing nothing, at least im produce something. right?

Peace! :)

deng!

2008-04-13T07:04:00.000-07:00
no more naddy blogspot.
im unable to login laa.

'Username and password do not match'

sudah taip berjuta kali dah.
spam siyut la ape lagi.
dear spammer.
dem you!

so for those who has been waiting fer my updates patiently.
has asked me regularly on ym.
nah. here you are.
new blog.
new updates.
new shits
new drama.
new move
new life.

a very brandnew of Nadirah Yahaya's life has begun.
here on this virtual world.
im part of netizen again again
i will be a cubicle slave, again.
everything repeatedly again again and again.
and i want to posted my bunches thanks to you
for wasting your time and life reading my shitsss.

psst.u know what.u wont regret.

ngeh ngeh.

later.chalo chalo bettteh. :)